ALMOST

On one of the most dramatic nights of my life, I switched off all the lights in my room and sat near a large window that gave me a clear view of the dark sky, empty roads and street lights. It was tranquillizingly quiet but my thoughts were roaring. My mind was not at peace and my world was falling apart. Hence, I sought after the cause of my agony. Why was I like this? Why was my family reacting like this? Why were my dreams, that were so close to becoming reality, suddenly vanish?
That, ladies and gentlemen was when I stumbled upon the most tragic word. The most tragic way for good things to end. “Almost “. I almost got a good enough score to get into my dream college. Though the horrors of that night faded away with time, the thought of the discovery I made still lingered on. I started paying more attention to things happening around me. After about a month, I was able to conclude my theory about how tragedies happen. It was because of something that almost happened, something that came temptingly close to our grasp but slipped right through our fingers in the very last minute. I was satisfied that my experiment had been successful, but it wasn’t fruitful. I knew what the problem was but could do nothing about it. Some might just say try harder but honestly it is not that easy. In its own way, this revelation only made it more of a melancholy.
He almost loved her, she almost had him, they almost had a future. As cliché as it sounds, the betrayal we feel when the longing we had, be that way forever is just astronomical. “Almost” is such a sad consequence. It is like being stuck in the lift between two floors. We all have our own sob stories.
But, like there’s always two sides to a coin, the same word can come off both ways. How about the bad stuff that almost happened? What about that test I almost failed? So many people almost died last year due to covid. Now, I am brought back to the initial problem that pushed me to perform this introspection. I wasn’t wrong. But I also wasn’t right. I was confused over this for days. I looked for more tragic examples that supported my earlier conclusion, but I knew I was lying to myself.
Once again, I found reality hitting me hard. It was like the eureka moment Archimedes had. I figured that I was being foolish by tormenting myself to find an answer to this question, because every tragedy carries its own lesson. I should have just cried that night and gone to bed instead of digging too deep into the problem. Even Archimedes could not get the solution until he decided to chill out and take a shower.
So, from this experience I learnt that whatever is happening was just bound to happen. It could not have been any different. Tragedies would happen no matter what and miracles do happen even in the most desperate times. Analyzing the situation and dissecting it like a frog won’t bring it back to life. This is life. It is flawed and unpredictable. Nobody has ever lived a life like yours before so don’t think your lifetime should revolve around a set of guidelines. Somebody’s tragedy is your blessing.
“almost” has killed and saved people. Live this life as it is and don’t try to be ideal. Just like my dramatic night was temporary, so will be yours. God always catches you when you fall. Believe in your own goodness and live with as much passion as you can because trust me, you are almost there!

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