build it yourself

It was dark all around,
It felt so gloomy,
Just like the inner me,
Feeling so empty currently.

The silence around me,
Clashed with the whispers,
In my mind crushing me,
Making me feel useless.

I suddenly felt so hopeless,
It all just felt so unreal,
Felt I was chasing fairy tales,
Rather than dreams that could come true.

It took just one failure,
To break down that barrier,
I had built around me,
To pass through all obstacles.

I had considered the barrier indestructible,
Thought I could withstand anything,
But the mud hadn’t dried yet,
The bricks hadn’t moulded into a wall.

I believed it was built by me,
Through my struggle and hard work,
But the weakness of the wall,
Was a testimony to its true ingredients.

Without ever realising it,
I had started making bricks,
Filled with my illusive satisfaction,
Of others appreciation.

Gradually they replaced,
The other bricks of my true intentions,
While I thought my wall was growing strong,
It was nothing but a delusion.

Now as I see the broken bricks,
All around me like shards of glass,
I wonder why it hurts so much,
When none of them hit me directly.

The truth came dawning at last,
I had allowed the wall to become me,
Rather than being the last resort,
It had transformed into my most vital support.

The wall had slowly transformed,
Into my crutches helping me,
But at the same time,
Decreasing my independency.

But I won’t be fazed,
From this failure,
I would make it my stepping stone,
Towards my ultimate success.

I may fall again,
The wall may be weak,
But we need to trip,
Before we walk steadily.

So now I go back again,
To make the bricks on my own,
To build a wall made of,
My own hard work and confidence.

Because when it comes to building a true wall,
You should always take the pains to build it yourself.

Khooshi D Jajoo

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