Emotional Catalyst

While I was busy talking to my anxiety
Persuading it with sweet words and a free tour to my imaginary world
And trying to save my calm as it hid under the table
I was interrupted by a knock at the door
Anxiety looked at me with curiosity by its side while confusion clouded them around
Calm also shot its head above the ground

I was scared who it might be this time
It was not panic attack it always came storming in
It was also not realisation
It never needed any permission

Looking back at my disrupted room or emotions
Not allowing my curiosity to grow any further
I twisted the doorknob and there it was
The smallest of all
It radiated positivity and experience
It extended its hand seeking permission
None of my other emotions ever did that

I remember my first panic attack was year ago
When I entered my new school, with my new bag-pack and new enthusiasm, in hope to make some new friends,
Taking initiative making small conversation
Trying to make a better impression
Rejected every time
I sat on the corner seat of the last row
And counted from zero to nine

Well without any further a due
And an incomplete introduction
Happiness growing inside my room
I led it inside

Confusion got its answer, calm took a deep breath
Curiosity faded away, anxiety melted
And with that FOMO became Roomie of my emotions.

It worked hard from dusk till dawn
To better my knowledge to better me
By being healthy, insightful and a tutor
Helping me fit in the latest world

Following fashion trends, to tik-tok challenges
Updated to latest memes and famous novels of different languages,
While giving a nice proportion of my time to comic books

watching old and new sitcoms, following pop trends
While listening to English songs of every era
And having a quite bit taste of Hindi and Punjabi pop
Being spoken 2-3 languages
Seeking knowledge of art and culture
With a quite bit interest in, history, politics and nature.
Keeping a daily or weekly journals
While maintaining a fast wpm
Following strict workout routine,
Neglecting unhealthy food habit
At the same time being a part of swimming pool party and outdoor picnic

total desi and Having a nukkad ki chai on a rainy evening
Also taking a delight in a Starbucks coffee with my name written on it.

In course of 4 month
My FOMO grew a lot big than its original size
With fear creeping in
Confusion occupying maximum space
Not wasting another minute
I searched FOMO on google tab

FOMO they say is a short for Fear of Missing out.
Well in my case it’s not only an emotion
It’s also working as a catalyst for other emotional reaction
Scrolling down knowing about it more
Without any permission or a knock at the door
Panic attack came in, anxiety came along
While the three reacted together
Exhausted I passed out.

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