Fear. A Taboo

The eyelids were drooping, it had been a long day. The body felt like a ninety year old’s
I don’t think I need to fantasize again tonight, my exhaustion would be enough to carry me off to sleep. Ah, sweet release of sleep but instead no, a strange inkling had me jerk my head back up. What my eyes saw nearly made my heart jump out of my skin, a pair of startling blue eyes at the edge of the bed staring straight at my face! I blinked and my head started to throb, the pain intensified by the minute. I shut my eyes trying to pressurise my head into the pillow while cursing myself, hmph this was happening too often and I had told myself I needed to get it checked, but the anxious me would never allow it to go forward. Aahh the pain of existing. As I breathe out an unusual prayer, I finally gained insanity, the silence was back and the final thing I saw before closing my eyes came back. I looked back at the place and there was nothing, pfft I knew it ha!
Oh but I couldn’t celebrate it too soon, the gut feeling kicked in again this time my eyes scanned the side of the room, and there they were! The pair of oceanic eyes, just behind the window curtain! This time it was looking at me as if curious. Panic took the driver’s seat now, I was genuinely sweating but who do I call out to?! I lived alone in this apartment, no friends also (considering how anxiety had crippled my social skills, almost extinguishing it infact) . Wait I’m an adult now, I can do this even if I couldn’t, I would have to or else I’d be a laughing stock if I called and told my family tomorrow. With a pinch of bravery (I would have never expected of myself) I ignored it and turned to the other side covering myself from the hair to the toes trying to stay still and silent my breathing until I heard the neighbour’s usual morning quarrel. And so began my sleepless nights triggered by a combination of two things, one some serious mental health issues and the possibility that there could actually be another extra energy in my apartment, both a stigma if spoken out loud.
Ah you’d think that’s not so bad but this was two seasons back and now my eyes and the bones in my body will tell you the story without me verbally needing to.

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