Inexpression

Inexpression, trauma, heartbreak, identity, self hate what do I write about now that I feel empty and meaningless. I know some people care bout me and some love me. I know my life ain’t no big tragedy. But I feel empty, empty bout something.
A feeling that something is missing. No I’m not being romantic I am not talking about heartbreak, loves and crushes but all of it is also there somewhere maybe as a part of it part of the emptiness.
Sometimes I do think about them, I think about their smiles and what could have been if it wasn’t all just a dream. But that’s not what its all about sometime I hate myself for letting them go, but no the emptiness is not about self hate either.
Some nights I wake up in horror from dreaming of his gross touch some times I feel his disgusting fingers at my back as I sleep but sadness is not about that trauma but all of it is also there somewhere maybe as a part of it part of the emptiness
I feel all of this and I can’t tell this to people. I dont know how to, I don’t know to who. But inexpression is not what it’s all about either.
There’s also a question of what, who & why I am but u think no human can understand, no human can answer those questions so that ain’t much to mention. There’s also the society and where worlds going that too worries me sometimes. And sometimes there’s nothing, nothing worries me at all
I dont know what I writing anymore And I dont know what I am feeling there is something broken but there’s also nothing left there’s so much in there yet there’s an emptiness meaningless, void swallowing everything ‘ME’ in a whole
But its not about that is it?

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