La Familia

She was changing,
Had lived her life as a loner, inside her hiding,
Built a wall around the heart,
Not letting anyone in
Living with anxiety, not sure of who she was.
Feeling lost, scouring for meaning
Then came this person,
Helped her find a new being inside her
She felt a wave, a rush
Something that she never thought she could
Out came her extrovert and she felt real
Giving up all her inhibitions,
Amazed at the new adventures,
Mostly, at a new her!
Nothing could hurt her anymore.
She became fearless, open to everything
Did all the stuff no one would think she can do,
Spoke freely,
Mouthed words no one could imagine she’d say.
Thus she lived for a while,
In this new soul of hers.
She prided herself on this
Talked a lot,
Met a lot of new people,
Lived the fantasy for a while,
Before her insecurities crept in!
She had discovered a new her,
A piece of her that people love,
People enjoy, and pull them to her.
So she pretended to be this laid back girl,
Always up for outings,
Barely holding herself back.
She was loving it, all the attention,
The conversations,
But more of it she loved the feeling
Of being accepted,
Of being wanted.
So much so, that she found a new fear
of being rejected
If she went back to her past self
Her quiet self
The quiet, responsible, nerd
Who had carried her all through the 23 years of life
She felt she had lost her
More so, she feared she’d lose people,
If she’d go back.
So she became the best of pals,
Friendliest and nicest of them all
Always cheerful, hanging around with people
Loving the attention,
Until she got tired.
Little did she know that
The true ones stay
No matter what.
The true ones valued her
For her real self
And she didn’t have to change.
So she decided to take a step back
And go unavailable
Go back to her past self
Cancelling plans
Staying indoors, and never seeing people
Being boring, quiet, nerdy and shy
And then seeing who stays
And those who stayed,
That’s family
Who love you for who you are.

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