My Midnight Musings

My life has been unfathomable just like a puzzle. I am trying to put different pieces into right places to give it a sense and to see what it turns out to be. Nevertheless, putting a piece in its right place is not always so easy.
There were nights when I struggled to give my overtaxed eyes some rest because my thoughts refused to sleep. But a night of total expressiveness came by and I could let the unwelcoming thoughts slip away in the wholesome silence of the night.
I realised that the pieces are not at one place, I guess they were never, but they are always around me. I continued to move my pen over the paper and did not regret if a line got bent or the ink flowed in the wrong direction.
I always believed that I’ll make my words dance on those plain white sheets and that might lead to a beautiful art that couldn’t have been achievable without unpremeditated moving of my pen.
I finished my piece of words without doubting my thoughts and abilities only to realise that I will only be able to pick the pieces of puzzle if I keep walking, as far and as long I can. If I happen to pick wrong pieces I should not worry and keep moving. Instead of thinking about the wrong pieces that I mistakenly took hold of and that I failed at finding the right ones, I decided to look at the puzzle with cautious fore-thoughtful arrangement.
Looking at the stars, I question what if I have walked the road everyone thought was the only way to reach a place that seemed almost same in everyone’s eyes and gave almost the same side. Would life have been less complicated? Would I have been less disturbed? Would the journey have been effortless?
Wondering among the clouds, I ponder what if I have chosen the unadventurous way to live a life, feeling alive notwithstanding being taciturn about everything around. Would there have been someone to walk with who could permeate the bareness on the street, someone who could fill the tranquility between the unreal walls of my life? Would I have taken another turn in eagerness? I’m not sure where the path I choose will take me. Will it be the mountains that I ever wanted to climb and touch, or an ocean I always wanted to swim in?
I’m sure that the boulevard I didn’t choose would have taken me to any wishy-washy place, where they all go, losing themselves through a depraved journey, and I’m sure that’s not where I ever wanted to be.
Breaking the walls subdued by the clouds of burning clocks and noisy sound of the time, I fill my bag with hopes of finding a part of me in a place that awaits me and leaving behind another as a souvenir, when I only know it like a tune I heard from a distance.
The sun to me looks different, so does everything else. The normal turns abnormal. A gentle stroke of the wind takes away the heaviness I had stretched. A step on the soil turns into a reminiscence in the heart. Assumed words write themselves down on the smile on my face.
The place makes me feel more like a friend than a friend who always imagine knowing me. And one day, that place becomes a know-how I waited long to live. A journey turned into a life long adventure.

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