Life

By Navya

"Life plays so beautifully with us that it's laughable really,

I remember myself sitting alone on my bathroom floor,

With the support of the wall as if I'd fall apart if it didn't hold me,

And it is again laughable how a wall is made to hold me while I am made to hold other

people,

And I remember what I said,

What I felt,

What I prayed,

And what I prayed to God for,

I remember myself saying

"Please God take me to you,

please I can't survive like this anymore,

I die thousands of deaths every day,

so please take me to you,

Or if my place is in hell,

please send me there,

Please I beg you,

just stop my heart,

I wished and hoped and prayed for this heart to stop with so much dedication I've never done anything,

And then sometimes there are days when I close my eyes and I say loud and clear

"Thank you, God,

for giving me a chance to live,

To experience life,

Thank you for thinking of me worthy enough that I can handle all this pain"

Now, can you imagine me, Sitting on the bathroom floor?

Crying so much my eyes swelled? Is my hair hysterical?

Having panic and anxiety attacks together?

Struggling to do the simplest thing, breathe?

Begging god to take me to him?

Yes, you can because gratefulness is not something everyone can feel of each other,

But heartbreak? I'm sure you feel my heartbreak,

not the exact way,

but I'm sure you do in a way,

And that,

That breaks my heart all over again."

By Navya