Better

By Sabira Kaur Miranhshah

I yell, I scream, I wait for her to come back to me,

We drifted apart into different oceans it seems,

Blood supposedly running thicker than water,

But it all just feels the same,

I can’t differentiate when the fights and arguments became something more,

When we grew up from toddlers twinning to just not talking,

How the silent competition went so far,

From running races to who gets favourite child, 

From feeling the love to it just being a necessity of the blood we share,

The same blood that would make me give you every organ if I was a match,

But the same blood that pits you against me at every stage of our unshared lives,

And yet I know that if you were cold I would give you the clothes off my back,

I would leave myself bare and stitch with threads of my skin even if you didn’t ask,

But if you do ask for my favourite sweater it will always be a no, 

Not because I mind you wearing it but because I’m scared you’d look better,

The word not ever leaving my shadows:

“Better” 

In what sense can it even mean,

In the genes you inherit, 

Or the skills you hone,

Can it ever just not be about each other,

Can it ever just be about us as one,

Will you always remain the same person I shared a bed with,

Or will you engrave yourself as the same person who made me feel like I was lesser of the one,

We might be able to move on from this,

Discount it as just a phase, 

But can we let go of all that we hold,

Not against each other,

But against ourselves

By Sabira Kaur Miranhshah