Blood

By P Sasikanth

It happened during the fall of winter. When he expressed his desire to attend the marriage, they were unable to say ‘no.’ More than the joy that he was returning home after a year of disappearance; the fear that what he might do this time scared them. His mere presence stirred unrest and anger. Last time, they had to vacate their house for the deeds he had committed. And now…, they don’t know. They feared that he might bring back those nightmares. They wanted to make it clear to him that he was not allowed to stay at the house. A day or two was fine but nothing longer than that. His father, as soon as he had learnt that his son has phoned, became restless. With all his heart he wanted to ask him not to come home. But he couldn’t.

Slowly, an awkward silence crept into the household as the day of his arrival approached. The atmosphere in the house became charged with angst and alarm. Even the slightest disturbance caused terrible rifts and tantrums among its family members.

One early morning, as the twilight broke into dawn, and the birds began to chirp, the bell rang. The grandmother who was asleep in the hall, woke up in alarm and sat with raising heartbeat. The mother who was fast asleep in the bedroom hurried into the hall, confused and anxious. Cold wind gushed in as she opened the door. In the breaking twilight, she saw a tall lean figure standing silently. In a low grunt, the tall figure called, ‘mom?’

Her blood froze. It took a while for her to react. Recovering haphazardly, she rushed back inside to get the keys. She unlocked the gate and stepped aside allowing him to enter. He came in slowly and hugged her. With a broad smile he kissed her on the cheek. It was a cold plastic smile. Taken aback by the hug, she responded awkwardly. ‘How are you? How is your health?’ she asked caressing his hair in the same awkwardness. ‘All good. All good.’ He replied walking into the house. In the hall, on a foldable bed, sat his grandmother with her hands clasped and feet shaking restlessly. The moment her eyes fell on him; they grew wide with fear. A shiver crept into her bones and her eyes stuttered wildly, like that of an animal. Noticing her shivering hands, an evil smile spread over his face. He moved forward abruptly and went and kissed her on the forehead; and waited for the reaction. Her shivers grew intense and she struggled to catch her breath. Rivers of sweat trickled down her face, unable to contain the palpitations within. Feeling content with her reaction, he went to the other room, to change his clothes. As he grabbed the towel from his bag, he smirked, remembering how he stole his grandmother’s necklace, when he ran away from home.

He noticed a dark figure wrapped in blankets, as he passed the bedroom. It was his father. His heart jumped a beat unknowingly. He cursed himself for that and carried along.

There in the bedroom, his father was having a disturbed sleep. It has been like this since his son ran away from home. This sleeplessness and nightmares have increased ever since his wife talked about his son’s home coming. The previous night had been even worse. A horrifying nightmare involving his son.

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The Nightmare

He was in a chaotic market place. Everything around was a stinking smell of garbage, vegetable, and meat. He was pushing his way forward through the people. He was searching for something. Hearing lot of yelling and cursing he pushed his way there. It was an open square, very much crowded. Everybody was armed with rocks and stones in their hands and were charged with anger. He pushed his way to the front of the crowd. There, against the wall was a crouched figure, terribly lean and pale. The figure was covered with dust and blood. It was his son. He was pleading for mercy and begged for someone to save his life. A stone flew from the crowd and hit him in the chest. They were stoning him to death. He tried to jump forward and shield him but his legs didn’t move. He tried begging the crowd to stop. But his mouth went dumb. He helplessly watched as they stoned him to death. His heart ached with pain witnessing his son pleading them to stop. Suddenly there was a flash. His eyes went blind. When he opened his eyes again, there was a monster. With towering height and eclipsing physique, the monster stood immune to the stones and rocks. Its eyes blazed with raging fire. It looked around hungrily and leaped forward and snapped a head from the crowd. With blood dripping from its mouth, it let out a bellowing howl, and went on a rampage clawing people to death. The crowd scattered away in fear. There was no one, except him and the monster. The monster stood looking at him. In moments the monster burst into a ball of flames and got devoured to ashes.

Seeing the futility of trying to sleep, he woke up with a headache. The room was dark and cold. The dream still lingered in his head. Hearing the commotion in the house, he called his wife. His wife came and informed about his son’s return. He felt a depression in his chest. An uneasy feeling clouded his heart and began spreading all over. He lied back on the bed again and closed his eyes with fleeting thoughts. Many incidents crowded his mind creating distress.

…those were the initial days of his son’s return from the city. His son went there for a two-year course after graduation and returned home. He eagerly waited for him. He hoped that his son would come back as a settled man with a job. And more than that he waited to see him because it has been eight months since he came home. He wanted to sit and discuss things about the household as a father would do with his grown-up son. All his hopes and expectations collapsed when he saw him. His son looked pale with dark circles under the eyes, without proper care and grooming he looked battered. He was further shocked when he learnt that his son discontinued the course and came back home empty handed without a job. It took him many weeks to digest that. Though he threw occasional jabs at his son, he never blatantly blamed him for his inefficiency. But he made it his primary duty to find him a job and settle him somehow. For that he kept lecturing him. As time went by, he slowly realized that finding him a job was the least of problems. As he talked to him and observed him more closely, he understood that a severe change has come over him. He was more closed, isolated, and silent than before. He spent much of his time in the little room on the terrace and wouldn’t come except to eat. Sometimes he wouldn’t even eat. He tried using his fatherly ways to mend him and discipline him. But that didn’t work. He then tried to make his son aware of the financial situation of the family and how it would soon collapse if he didn’t get any employment. His son just listened and left. The more he tried to mend him the more he evaded him. He grew suspicious that his son has got into bad company and habits. Though he didn’t know for sure, he blamed him outrightly so that he could catch him somehow. Catching him never happened and also his son never cared about proving him wrong. This frustrated him even more. His son didn’t have many friends and he didn’t go anywhere except to the park nearby. He stayed late at nights roaming on the terrace and going out for night walks. Many times, he warned him about the night walks, but that never changed him. During this period of growing frustration over his strange nature, the dog’s death happened.

One evening, while his son was returning home from the park, there were children playing in the sand nearby. Suddenly out of nowhere a stray dog came sprinting and attacked a little girl in the group. The children scattered away in fear. He leaped and grabbed the girl into his arms. He kicked the dog to scare it away. The dog, in retaliation, bit his calf. Wriggling its jaws, it tried to rip off the calf muscle. Struggling with the dog and holding the terrified girl in his arms, he fell down. The dog jumped up and furiously bit his forearm. Blocking the dog with the bitten hand he pushed the girl to the other side. The dog bit his fingers and ripped his forearm. He was shaken and terrified. The people of the neighborhood tried to scare it away with sticks. Suddenly, as if something had come over, he held the dog’s neck and pushed it to the ground. With his forearm still in its mouth, he began punching it in the face. In retaliation, it dug its teeth even deeper. Yelling in pain, he gripped its ear and poked his thumb into its eye. The dog immediately let go of his hand and wriggled in pain to escape. As the dog whimpered, he held it even harder and pressed his thumb into its eye. The eye ball burst spraying blood and fluid over his hand and face. The dog yelped helplessly and wriggled in pain. Without allowing it to escape, he gripped both his hands around its neck and with all the strength he could muster, he choked the dog to death. In minutes, it went loose and lifeless. He fell gasping for breath. The crowd who was watching this in frozen silence rushed to help. Pieces of ripped flesh hung from his forearm. Blood from his wounds dripped on the road. He stood up. Resisting the crowd, he picked up the dead dog. Kissing it on its head, he carried it and placed it in the mud at a distance. As he wobbled up from the ground, he collapsed unconscious.

He woke up in the hospital a few hours later, and was discharged after three days. The morning after his discharge, while he was having breakfast, his father, pacing the hall asked him impatiently,

‘Why did you kill the dog?’

He stopped eating and looked at him defiantly.

‘Answer ME!! Why did you kill the dog!!?’ his father yelled.

‘I don’t know…maybe I just wanted to watch it die’ he said in a thoughtful low tone.

‘What is he talking Sumithra??’ he turned to his wife bewildered. ‘Who wants to kill a being to watch it die??’ he started perspiring. Anger mixed with fear and confusion pounded his chest and he collapsed in a chair.

‘Then why didn’t you leave it there? Why do you have to kiss it’ he continued with bated breath.

He thought for a while, and in the same low tone he replied, ‘I don’t know’

His father shook his head in anger and disbelief

To which he retorted furiously, ‘You’ll never understand it.’

‘Is that the way you talk to your father!!?’, in one big leap his father reached him and slapped him hard across the face. He looked back with defiance. Triggered further, in a fit of uncontrollable rage, his father grabbed his collar and thrashed him. His mother rushed to stop it.

‘Listen to me well. As long as you stay in this house, you obey the rules of the house. You obey me. Understood!!??’ his father thundered.

With a red and hurtful face, he nodded silently. And the situation dissolved.

Though he thrashed his son in a fit of rage, his deeper intention was to curb his dangerous nature, and to mend him with physical force so that he could blend into the society. But he soon realized the futileness of it. Until then he believed that all the nonsense of his son is because of the idleness and lack of dire circumstances; he felt that once his son gets a job he would be set right. But that day he realized that he doesn’t even have an inkling about the thoughts going in his son’s head. That scared him the most.

The interactions between them fell drastically after that. His wife became their mediator and negotiator….

Finally waking up from the bed, he drank the coffee his wife gave and came into the hall. There on the foldable bed was his mother drenched in sweat and struggling to breath. He went to his mother in alarm and sat beside her. Running his hand over her head and caressing her hair, he asked, ‘Is everything alright.’ She nodded her head. He helped her get up and made her sit. And slowly he took her medicine kit and gave her the medicines. He helped her to stand and he took her out for a walk.

He took her to the terrace. After walking her, he sat her in a chair and placed her in the direction of sunrise. Then he came down. By the time he came down, his son finished his bath and came out of the bathroom. He was stunned looking at him. With a chiseled face, with the neck of a bull and taut muscles he looked like he could beat a gang of guys his age. It was a complete contrast to the image he had of him a year ago. With rounded shoulders and a powerful chest, he looked intimidating. He slowly walked into the house. Noticing him, his son quickly went near and stretching out his hand, asked, ‘How are you father?’ Taking his hand and getting surprised at the firm handshake, he nodded in disbelief. ‘When did you come?’ ‘Early morning’ his son replied with a smile. His heart fell like a tide, disappointed. Though the smile projected a sense of warmth, his eyes had no connection to it. It was just a plastic smile. It felt like an extension of what his son was a year ago. Only much asserted and reinforced. He went into the bedroom and laid down again. Locking his hands under his head and looking at the ticking clock he closed his eyes. He knew very well the reason for his mother’s palpitations. It was his son’s arrival. He never understood why his mother feared him so much. Even when his son stole her necklace so deliberately and ran away, she didn’t utter a single word against him out of the fear that he might know and come back to make her pay for it. Such was the fear he inflicted upon her. As he was slipping back into sleep again, he remembered his mother and got up. He went to the terrace and brought her down and assisted her to lie down. Her breathing was much better and her heart wasn’t racing as before. He sat with her for a while and got up. While passing the other room, he saw his son lying on the bed, and walked into it. That room was being used as a store room. It was small, dark, and filled with dust. There, on a foldable bed his son slept. He stood there watching him sleep. His son looked so handsome. With neatly trimmed hair, and a clean-shaven face, he looked attractive. Though he was quiet surprised witnessing the change, there was something unsettling. The way he slept in such cold silence shuddered him. It seemed as if he could commit any deed of any terrible kind in the same cold-blooded silence and still be the same.

… Though the interactions between them have decreased, his concern over him kept growing. Because of the guiltiness of thrashing him, though not blatantly, he showered more affection on him. He tried to reconnect, which his son evaded. He gave the distance he felt his son wanted and slowly, he loosened the firmness over him. He let him do and let him be the way he wanted. A sense of sympathy grew for him. The way he kept growing thin and the way he just locked himself up in that little room, and the way he stayed lonely most of the times bothered him. He sensed a thick cloud of depression and darkness that hung over him. He wanted to help. He thought bringing him close to God would help. As his son evaded him, he went to his mother. He asked her to teach him the love of God, to which she readily agreed. Strangely and surprisingly his son grew closer to her. Like some strange symbiosis they developed a bond. He attended to her needs, and took care of her. Though he never saw them laughing heartily or talking exaggeratedly he was quite happy and content to see him in her company.

Months passed. One evening after he returned from the office, he and his wife sat watching TV in the hall. Suddenly, they heard a distant rumbling which instantly turned to yelling and shouting. The yelling got louder and louder. Looking at each other with questioning glances, his wife rushed out in alarm to inquire. He followed her. As they peeked out of the gate trying to see the commotion, one of their neighbors came panting and told them that their son was being beaten up. Stunned, they ran onto the road. An angry mob of young men were raining punches as they dragged their son around and hurled abuses at him. A little distance from there, a woman in her late twenties was being pulled by hair and was being thrashed by a man. Witnessing their son being beaten, his wife ran frantically to the angry mob, begging, and pleading them to leave their son alone. In a fit of instinctual rage, he dashed and shoved some of them to scare them away from their son. Instead, the men punched him in return and shoved him away. He stood between the mob and their son bearing the punches and pleaded them to leave him alone. Watching their humiliation, many of the neighbors came to their rescue. Eventually the young men were calmed and sent away. Those men were the friends of the man thrashing the woman. That man was the woman’s husband who was the mother of two children. That man caught his wife and his son having sex. His throat went dry and parched as he learned the truth. They were shocked beyond words and stood in disbelief. But holding their senses together, he and his wife along with few neighbors negotiated the situation, desperately apologizing and pleading for their son’s crime. The whole neighborhood gnawed at them. The settlement of that issue and the long discussions that followed went late into night. He felt as if their heads been cut off. He couldn’t bear his wife begging and pleading for the sake of their son. They lived in that neighborhood for twenty long years and never once got involved in any squabble. They were respected and treated with dignity. But that day, because of their son that respect shattered into million pieces. All through that his son sat silently with his head bent, with a torn shirt, swollen eyes, bleeding nose and a broken lip. Someone nudged him for first-aid., which his son rejected vehemently. He who was watching all this from a distance, lost all humanly control. With anger and humiliation pounding his heart, he grabbed a stick and pounced on him with rage. He thrashed him until his anger, and humiliation melted and evaporated with exhaustion. He thrashed him until his hands ached. Nobody dared to stop him.

Finally, exhausted, he went into the house and collapsed on the bed. By morning, when he woke up and went into the hall, his wife was sitting in a chair, turned to a side, and was staring obliviously through the window. Tears brimmed his eyes and he went and hugged her. Her eyes were swollen red. They cried in each other’s arms. He kept apologizing her profusely. He slowly learnt that his son didn’t come home the last night. He didn’t care. He got ready for the office and facing the gnawing neighbors he left for work.

For a few days he didn’t see his son. But he knew that he was staying in the terrace room above. Things attained a new normal in their household. They got used to their gnawing neighbors. They got used to the agitated silence in their home and his son strictly came into the house only to eat. They, both him and his wife grew more and more closer and dependent on each other. They felt a desperate need for each other’s company. They would suddenly cry in each other’s arms for no reason.

As the situation was getting more and more grim, he decided to talk to his son. This time he didn’t want to be authoritative or be a father. He just wanted to listen to him. One day after breakfast, while he still had time for office, he went to the terrace room. He took some breakfast and water along with him and he knocked the door. Noticing that it was open, he pushed and walked inside. A strong musk of urine and stale stink hit his nostrils. Exhaling in disgust, he rubbed his nose and tried to spot his son in that little dark room. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he noticed that the room was filled with dust, and clothes scattered all over. Slowly in the corner, he spotted his son sitting on the floor. ‘Why didn’t you answer when I knocked?’ His son remained silent. Controlling an immediate surge to lash at him and make him clean the room, he silently went and opened the door and windows.

‘Here is some breakfast your mother prepared’ he said, placing the breakfast and water nearby. He then pulled a chair and sat.

‘The room is stinking, why don’t keep it clean?’ he paused and continued, ‘Only when the surroundings you live in are clean and healthy, you’ll have a healthy mind.’ ‘You’ve grown this much…’ he faltered in mid-sentence. The stale stink of the room started nauseating him.

‘I’ll clean’

‘What??’

‘I’ll clean the room’ his son replied a bit louder.

‘Hmm’ he nodded and slipped into deep thought with his hands clasped. His son watched him intently with anticipation. Suddenly out of nowhere he began,

‘See, the onset of puberty in human beings starts in their teens. Around the same time the attraction for opposite gender and the hormonal thrust to have sex reaches its peak. But the society we live in views sex as a sin. It celebrates celibacy and virginity as divine elements. Sex before marriage is looked down upon and is treated as…’

‘Dad!’

He looked up suddenly being interrupted.

‘Dad I’m sorry that I’ve caused you humiliation. I don’t apologize for the acts I’ve committed, but I apologize for the humiliation that you and mom had to endure because of me. I’m really sorry for that dad. Really.’ His son said looking at him. It was more like a statement.

‘So, you don’t regret what you’ve done?’

‘No’ his son replied flatly.

‘Why?’ he asked boring his eyes into his son.

‘I don’t know’ his son replied after a while inhaling deeply.

‘You don’t know? You don’t know what? That you’ve dragged our respect into streets? Or that you’ve made your mother beg some strangers to show mercy on you?’ he paused and controlling his anger, continued,

‘Tell me exactly what is that you don’t know? You don’t know that your life would’ve been fucked? If they went to file a case? what would’ve become of you? You don’t have a proper qualification; you don’t have a job till now. What would you become? How long will you live off me? I’m already fifty-five. And you are very much aware of our financial situation. At the age that you should be supporting me, you are still living off me!!!’ he paused gasping for breath.

‘Okay tell me this. You don’t feel bad about what you’ve done. Right? Some strangers have dragged you on the streets and thrashed you like a dog. I and your mother have begged them to leave you alone. Fine, leave about us. But how long can you hide in this room? Someday you have to go out and face them, live with them, and find your place amongst them. Do you think they’ll be kind enough to accept you? Kind enough not to judge you? Knowing all these acts that “you don’t regret about?” Do you think they’ll accept you?’, he imitated his son comically. ‘Okay since you are that shameless, let’s forget about you. But did you think about her? She is the mother of two children., what will her children call her when they grow up? How will her husband and family treat her from hereafter? Have you thought about that!!!’ he yelled.

His breathing increased and he stopped talking. Silence filled the space. Staring out of the door for a while, he picked the water bottle beside and gulped huge volumes of it. After a while,

‘Son’ he said in a kind tone, ‘I have come from your age. Nobody is noble. Until you don’t get caught ever thing goes well but once you get caught, they’ll peck you like crows till you bleed. I know how sexual repression can blind our senses. And a strong sexual drive can take us to unimaginable places and make us do things that we regret in future. Bu…’

‘Dad!’ his son interrupted again.

‘Dad, I very much consciously did what I’ve done. I don’t regret having sex with her. I don’t regret getting caught. And I don’t regret about her. If not me, she’d have found someone else. And if not now, she’ll have an affair in some later part of her life. Yes, her children will call her a whore but they’ll continue growing under the protection of her arms. And her husband will call her a slut his whole life, but he’ll never have the courage to divorce her. She is the only one through which he can breathe in his pride of superiority. The same goes with her family. Dad…’ thus began the monologue of his son.

The monologue that made him shudder. The passion with which and the depths at which his son spoke about sex and the violence associated with it, made him sit in stunned silence. As he absorbed the things his son was uttering, it seemed as if he was being engulfed by the darkness of the room. He sat fixed in shock and disbelief. At one point he began doubting that his son deliberately wanted to get caught. ‘It was not the passion for sex but contempt; contempt for life itself. Where is all this hate stemming up from? The secret intent to destroy himself and to witness the destruction of others. Where is this stemming up from?’ his mind ran wildly. Suddenly as if in a kick, interrupting his son, he leaned forward and placing his hand on his shoulder, he asked with pity,

‘What happened there son? What is it that happened so terrible that made you like this? Can’t you share it with me? Can’t I help?’

His face hardened and his eyebrows knitted. ‘I don’t know Dad., one midnight while I was alone in the room, I looked at myself in the mirror and…’ For a moment those dark eyes of his son got transfixed on him. Tears brimmed in his eyes. But as moments passed, they slowly got sucked back in. His hardened face loosened and slowly cracked into a smile. Thats it, he knew that he would never get an answer from his son.

Both of them sat in silence for a long minute. As if remembering something, he unhooked the chain in his neck and pondering for a while, he placed the chain in his son’s hand and closed it. The chain had an aluminum cross to it. ‘Keep this with you son. Keep this with you’ he tapped his son’s hand and left the room.

He became overtly silent during the course of days; as if waiting for something imminent. The house grew more and more grim. His wife was worried about his silence. He in turn, took her near as if protecting her. A few days later his mother had a low BP stroke and was admitted to the hospital. She was discharged after a few days, but she never really recovered from the stroke.

The things happening in the house and the way it was getting clouded with grim despair troubled him. Secretly his mind cooked superstitions and he slowly started believing them.

A week after his mother’s stroke, one morning, police came to their house to investigate about a murder in their neighborhood. Both he and his wife were confused and were at their wits end. The police asked about their son and when he was called, they inquired him and took him along to the station. Both of them, completely terrified, got ready and taking help of the little political contacts they had, rushed to the police station. The night before, in their neighborhood, a prostitute and her customer, both in alcoholic delirium got into an argument. The argument escalated into physical fight, and in a fit of delirious rage, she pounded his head with a mill stone and killed him. There were flying rumors that their son who frequented her regularly, was the one who perpetuated her to kill him. Though he was not present on the night of the murder, but he was the one who injected her with the idea of killing him.

In the station, as the police couldn’t find any definitive evidence to support the rumors, and also keeping in view of the insignificance of the murder, they let him go with a warning that he should come to the police station whenever called.

None of them spoke to each other on their way back home. That night after everybody slept, his son went to his grandmother, woke her up, deliberately unhooked her golden necklace and ran away…

He ate the breakfast his wife brought, chatted with her for a while. He already sensed the anxiousness that took over her. She acted hurriedly and spoke in torrents. She was worried about their son’s return. He slept after having breakfast. It was around four in the evening when he was shaken up from sleep with a jolt. It was his wife. ‘Your mother’s having a stroke’ she told anxiously. When he hurried into the hall and saw her, he got confirmed that she was having a stroke again. He did the necessary things to comfort her and with proper medication and measures, prevented the stroke from escalating. When he felt that her condition was stable, he charged into the other room furiously. His son was sitting in silence. ‘I want you to leave. Leave right away!!’ he yelled. His son stared at him for a moment and replied calmly, ‘Sure dad. Just a couple of minutes.’ In no time his son left. He didn’t see his son leave. But sitting in the bedroom he heard the noises of his departure. A couple of minutes later, his wife came into the bedroom with tears and handed him the chain with the cross. They broke down in each other’s arms and wailed cursing themselves for their fate.

…On the night his son ran away, his mother let out a bellowing howl which scared the entire household and woke them all. As he went to her, he noticed that she was becoming rigid. She was sweating and palpitating profusely. Her teeth chattered in fear. ‘He…He…ki…killed her! He killed her!!’ she said gasping for breath. He immediately ran upstairs to the terrace room and found it empty. His son was nowhere. Though his nerves were tearing apart with the words his mother uttered, they tended to her first and took her to the hospital. It took her few days to recover. When they asked her about the words she uttered, she stared back blankly unable to recollect anything. But the mere mention of his son drove her to hysterics. They didn’t pursue it any further out of the fear of unraveling something horrific. They soon vacated the house…

They cried till they were exhausted and fell asleep in each other’s arms. Two days later, they attended the marriage. It was his brother’s daughter marriage. They desperately hoped that he wouldn’t come, but as soon as they entered, they saw him chatting in a corner with few of his cousins. He wore an expensive black suit. He looked charming like a prince. The moment he saw them, he came to them. He greeted them with an unnatural warmth. They were hardly able to reciprocate. Those eyes of him felt haunting. As soon as he greeted, he went away. Masking the awkwardness, they forced themselves to take part and get along with the celebration. They greeted their relatives; took photos with the new couple and participated in the formal pleasantries. After a while, he dropped his wife at a relative’s house for some rest. She was having severe fever and blinding headache. And more than that, he couldn’t see her tormenting herself with the pain of treating her own son as a stranger. He dropped her and returned back.

The guests greeted the couple, clicked photographs and were presented gifts to them. Adjacent to the function hall was the dining hall. A series of large glass panes separated both the halls. After the guests wished and took photographs, they proceeded to the dining hall to have lunch. He was in the dining hall supervising the items being served and looking after and greeting the guests. The dining hall reverberated with cacophony. Large fans circulated the same hot humid air over and over again. Suddenly there was a loud bang. The bang was so loud that the large glass panes shattered on impact. Instinctually he knew that something dreadful has happened and his son was a part of it. He didn’t want to go in the fear of witnessing something terrible. His feet felt glued to the ground. The hall erupted with panicked howls and wails. Amidst the raging chaos, he slowly walked to the edge of the hall. People were rushing out in a stampede trying to escape. At a faraway distance amongst fallen chairs and scattered tables an unmoving body was lying in a pool of blood. Beside that with his back towards him, like a large looming beast in black; like a beast overpowering its prey, his son sat on the chest of a man pounding him with his bare knuckles to death. The wriggling legs of the man narrated the impact of each killing blow. When the man stopped wriggling, he took out a gun and shot him multiple times in the face. Breathing heavily, he stood up with dripping blood. There was nobody in the hall except him and his son. Standing over the dead man he said pitifully, ‘You should’ve run away brother. You should’ve run away.’ He placed his hand over his massacred head and got up. With the gun drenched with dripping blood, he walked towards a large reflective glass. Watching himself in it, for once his impeccable form stuttered. He covered his face with both the hands and whimpered. Then he wiped his tears and inhaling deeply, he put the gun in his mouth. He pushed the barrel deep into his throat.

As his son pushed the barrel deep into his throat, he who was witnessing this in dire resignation suddenly felt his legs wobble. Darkness crept into his eyes and he blacked out. As he fell down, he distantly heard a gunshot.

“How will the world remember me?” he asked.

“The world will remember you as the monster, who, in the process of killing itself has devoured its loved ones.

Son, you’ll never find peace. Neither in life nor in death. Death will just be a moment’s relief for you.

You’ll suffer eternally son. You’ll suffer eternally.”

By P Sasikanth