By Aaileen Sarwar Syed
I am a true hypocrite. I don't really think I have ever put this out like this, but I have little regard to my own mental growth, although I could preach about it for hours, it would take me much much longer to implement what I say.
I do know and I believe that feeling your emotions and getting used to their presence is a way of dealing with the present overwhelming emotion, I would sit in my pool of emotions. Preferably with headphones on, a soft song and the illusion of helping myself.
But what if i was busy today, a little too busy today to actually take time and sit and really feel. A day where I don't want to see red, I push it away. If it's too heavy to push, I run, if I am too tired, I hide.
Preferably with headphones, blasting the fastest songs Spotify would have at the loudest volume; contrary to what I would have heard otherwise.
My routine, personally, is running away from the world with headphones blasting loud incomprehensible noise in my ears. I go socially MIA and also really shut the doors to my shell making it finally breathable
I would never recommend this to anyone, regardless of how you think about it.
A temporary solution in use for a long term is also not the most ideal thing to do. But it does work out, at the busiest days, where your emotions would only burden you further, when you don't care if you heal or not. That's where you could actually use a change of pace (literally)
While I still am nagging over songs and mood development;
Listening to happy med paced songs and practically living those emotions, even if they are momentarily present.
Practicing emotions is always a way to actually keep making yourself a natural at those moments of happiness. One thing that's compulsorily present in a happy practice is overflowing optimism. By practicing optimism, your body will have a tendency to not think of itself at its lowest.
You pretend you are happy and before you know it you might even believe things, this will cause you to blur lines in the memory of your life, but it is certainly closest to what I'd call healing.
To heal takes a long time, and I am not advertising my ideals, but I am just saying that this is what I do and that running away has been something I have been doing since I began experiencing emotions I didn't know how I should deal with.
I lived a busy life, or so I believe I did. If anything, I never thought giving so much time to thoughts would be productive, thus this is how my life is, always red on a busy day
By Aaileen Sarwar Syed
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