Compromise Orsacrifice

By Shreyas Dhwaja

Ever been in a dilemma trying to understand if you should give up something? Might be as simple and minute as giving up a vice or your favourite food. While you may choose to give up something willingly because of your resolution or circumstances, would the condition be the same in cases where you would have to do it for someone else?

“I want to go out for a drive, will you take care of the kids?”, she said.

“No, I am watching a movie. I can’t focus on the kid and watch the movie?”, he responded.

“Ok”

“Shall we go on a trip to Pune with the Sharma’s next week? I know our daughter is recovering, but if you can help me with the support, then she should be fine?”, she said.

“What am I supposed to do? You’re the mother. It’s your responsibility to take care of the child.”, he said

“Ok”

“I am going to cook meat for my colleagues. I understand that you do not like it and therefore will use a different vessel to avoid any form of goof-up.”, he requested.

“No. Just because I said that I am fine with you eating meat before marriage doesn’t mean you keep turning this house into a steakhouse. I wanted you to quit eating post-marriage. I don’t want to have this conversation again”, she blatantly replied.

“Ok”

“I do not want to get married now. I need to settle down in life and do things which I want to do before I am married”, the child said.

“You can do all that once you get married. Marriage will give you company for life. It will take a while since it is an arranged marriage, but you will learn”, the parent said.

Does this sound familiar or heard this recently? Did you have to sacrifice or compromise on your dreams and desires? Google defines compromise as expediently accepting standards that are lower than desirable and sacrificing as giving up (something valued) for the sake of other considerations. Leaves a very fine line to contemplate if you are giving up your desires because you do not have a choice or because you were coerced.

Do we subconsciously deceive ourselves to believe that we want something even if we don’t? Are we just trying to live by the expectations of society?

While this is a more philosophical question that we need to think about individually, I believe that when you sacrifice something, you feel great about it. It makes you swell with pride while compromise makes you feel cold because you subconsciously know that you are not happy about it. Adjustment is often linked to giving up certain things and has long-term implications. This is that one juncture where you are forced to give up, either willingly or unwillingly. Most will choose to sacrifice though inherently it's just a compromise. You bury the hatchet when you sacrifice, you dig it out when later when compromise

So the next time you are made to choose, think through, maybe it's worth compromising rather than sacrificing. Or is it?

By Shreyas Dhwaja