Do You Hate Me For Resenting This Day

By Kenlumzailie Michui

I woke up to the sound of the rain,

Looked out the window,

Saw the sun was already up,

I feel well rested and almost enthusiastic.

All in all the world didn't seem as cruel.

But, my phone calendar beeped and it said "Happy Fathers Days",

My Google Photos made an album called "Memories with Dad",

Then the group chats wouldn't stop beeping,

Then the statuses, stories and everywhere I looked

Reminded me of how you're suppose to be right here,

Right next you me, not there, not anywhere else.

And my head started ringing.

Brother would have cheered me up or calmed me down,

But he is also far far away for his voice to reach me.

Now the only way I know is to fully and completely break,

And let it consume me as much as it wants.

I don't hear the sound of the rain anymore,

Or see the sun or feel the breeze.

I only hear myself choking on my muffled sobs,

Grabbing for the tissue and feel my body go numb.

For some reason I can't breath and

Didn't want to feel or hear or see anything,

I want me to shatter completely.

Then I'll be okay for the next few days.

By Kenlumzailie Michui