Eulogy

By Dr Manasi Naphade

I have never written an eulogy before. And truly speaking this is not an eulogy, this is my love letter to you Ushabai.

The first time I met you was in the surgery ward. We were prepping you up for a surgery. (She had breast cancer, a little advanced stage.) I remember doing your ECG a day before the surgery and being confused with what I saw. The waves were different than they normally are. I took you down to radiology departmet for Xray and we found out that you had “situs inversus” (It means the position of organs in her body was reversed, her heart and stomach were on the right side, and liver on the left side). But that was not going to cause much trouble with the surgery.

The next day we took you in the Operation Theatre for Modified Radical mastectomy. It was the first time I ever got to scrub in on a surgery, I was right there assisting my senior in your surgery.

After that I would do your dressing daily in the ward and I think that is when I got so close to you. I would be so tired after covering 12 hour shifts but just seeing you there smiling at me would make my exhaustion disappear.

And then one day you said to my cointern (colleague), “Manasi is my daughter”. That day I couldn’t help but smile all day long.

I could never explain that feeling. No one other than my mom had called me her daughter. I could see in your eyes that you meant it completely.

Then you got discharged from the hospital, but we stayed in touch. You would call me once in a while and just seeing your name would make my face light up.

I remember one time when you called and suggested that I marry a pharmacist who lives just beside your house. I was laughing so hard and telling you I am not ready for marriage yet. To which you said “if you marry him, you will stay near me lifelong”. I was so touched by the gesture.

I still remember you and your daughter (tai) tearing up when I visited you in the cancer hospital.

One day I was just sitting in my room feeling a liitle grey, bored with everyday routine. And suddenly my mobile started ringing and it showed Ushabai calling, a huge grin came on my face. I picked it up and greeted with “How are you Ushabai?” My ears were aching to hear you say something like “I was missing you my dear, so I called you”

But instead I heard Tai’s dejected voice saying that the tumour spread to your brain and that you are no more in this world. I swear I could feel my heart sinking. She told me she was going through your small bag and found my number written on a piece of paper, so she decided to call me.

Ushabai they say “don’t get attached to your patients, there are certain boundaries in doctor-patient relationship, etc”. I say screw them. You were my mother and will always be.

And I will always miss your soft voice and your kind eyes.

Ushabai we doctors would say your heart was not in the right place (she had dextrocardia). We were correct , your heart was not in the right place because you kept giving it away to every soul that you met.

I love you

And I believe you are in a beautiful place right now.

By Dr Manasi Naphade