By Moses Donald P
In the rural outskirts of the South side of Africa, there lived a couple, Aadan and Sade. They have been happily married for ten years and have a 7-year-old son, Zo.
One cloudy day, a fight broke out between the couple, during which Aadan, for the first time, laid his hands on Sade.
Sade was initially shocked, then started crying and yelling at Aadan. Eventually, she packed her clothes and left the house in tears. Aadan tried to convince her to stay, but Sade went to her friend Sabrina's place, two streets away from her current place.
Sabrina was shocked to see Sade in this state. Being a psychologist, Sabrina took notes on all the points in a paper as Sade poured out her emotions. Sabrina suddenly stopped Sade after hearing her statement, "Aadan has laid his hands on her."
Sabrina quickly said to Sade, "Your husband has narcissistic disorder. Thank goodness. At least now you managed to end this relationship and come out."
Sade, who came there for a small argument, decided to end the relationship as Sabrina continued to elaborate on the disorder.
Sabrina said, "I am surprised at how you were able to be in this relationship for this many years with this jerk."
Sade replied, "Yeah, Sab, it was hard to be with him. I put in a lot of effort to make the relationship work, but he ended up hurting me."
Sabrina then told Sade to bring her son, Zo, along to keep him safe. The next day, Sade went to Aadan’s house to bring her son Zo back. Aadan saw Sade coming and asked her, "Sade, give me a minute to explain. I am sorry for laying my hands on you yesterday."
Sade slapped Aadan on his face and shouted out loud, "Zo, Zo, Zo, Where are you?" Zo came running towards Aadan and hid behind him. Seeing this, Sade yelled at Aadan and slapped him continuously to make Zo come with her.
Sade said, "Your father is a jerk. He will kill us both, so come with me," and tried to drag him out of the house.
Zo told her, "I'm not leaving Daddy."
Sade went back frustrated and explained the situation to Sabrina.
Sabrina came to their house and talked to Aadan about the situation.
Aadan asked Sabrina, "Do you know what happened here?" Sabrina said, "Yes, Sade told me." Aadan said, "I don't think you know the full picture. Let me explain what happened." Sabrina started to yell at Aadan and told Sade, "Let's leave. He is trying to hurt me too," and they both left.
Aadan couldn't understand what happened before his eyes.
Zo, after seeing all this, started to shiver and fainted on the floor. Aadan took Zo to the hospital. After checkups, they found out that this could not be treated with medicines but with some self-analysis from a psychologist. Aadan took Zo to a psychologist. The psychologist spent some time with Zo in private and then called Aadan to speak in private. The psychologist told Aadan that Zo is deeply affected by the fights between him and his wife. It would be better if he and his wife together could come in a session with the psychologist to sort this out.
Aadan said that his wife left him and had not picked up the call yet.
Aadan told the psychologist, "We were dating for a year. Then, we got married. She was the one who expressed love first and then arranged for the marriage. But Sade was more of a controlling girl. She controls what we should eat, where we should go, etc. All this started to happen after the marriage. The Sade I met is different from the one I'm living with. I tried to tell her what she was doing, but she didn't listen. As I loved her, I started to fit in with her. But after Zo was born, the control began to move towards him. Even if Zo asks for chocolate, the flavour should be liked by Sade. Only after that, she allowed him to buy it. So, I finally knew I had to stop this, or else my son's life would be in danger. So I started to yell and force these words into her to make her understand that what she was doing would affect others, so stop. But the arguments just ended up in fights. The day she left me, I had to lay my hands on her because she was about to hit my son just because he bought his favourite toy. She created a whole lot of drama and left the house and joined her friend, who is a psychologist and termed me as a narcissistic mental disorder patient."
The psychologist noted all the points from Aadan and wanted to hear Sade's perspective. So Aadan and the psychologist went to Sabrina's house to meet Sade. Sabrina opened the door. Sade got angry seeing Aadan with a girl. Then, the psychologist explained what happened to Zo and why they were there. Sade blamed herself for a while and started crying. Later, she blamed Aadan and said she was correct in leaving him.
The psychologist wanted to spend some private time with Sade to get to know her better. Sabrina said, "I'm also a psychologist. There is nothing wrong with Sade. Aadan is wrong."
The psychologist replied, "The moment you think you're right and believe your patient is wrong, that's when you've failed as a psychologist. Your job is not to judge or blame the clients. Your job is to guide and allow them to make their own decisions."
After hearing this, Sade realized how much she was influenced by Sabrina, not just as a psychologist but also as a friend.
Sade started speaking with tears in her eyes.
At that moment, the Psychologist, Aadan, Sabrina, and Zo were all present.
Sade began telling everyone about her friendship with Sabrina. Both had lost their parents in childhood and had been friends since their time in the orphanage as roommates. Since childhood, Sade used to do whatever Sabrina asked. The only thing she did without Sabrina's permission was to love Aadan. Sabrina shouted, "Stop, Sade! You're revealing our secrets about the treasure hunt." The psychologist interrupted and began to investigate Sabrina. After asking repeated questions, she discovered that the only client Sabrina was dealing with was Sade.
The psychologist revealed that Sabrina had been her patient. She suffered from narcissistic personality disorder. But then, she did not continue after a few sessions.
Sade asked, "But Sabrina is a psychologist."
The psychologist replied, "Does that mean she shouldn't have this disorder or any problem?"
The psychologist then explained narcissism.
Loving one's self is natural. But when it becomes extreme, it can become narcissism.
This can happen to anyone. Sabrina had been displaying narcissistic behaviour unconsciously, and it was important for everyone to accept that we all have flaws and can experience diseases or disorders. And no one is entirely right or wrong. Narcissistic personality disorder is a serious condition. These are not to be used in relationships or arguments casually. Even if your partner has this disorder, support them in overcoming it, but don't label them. The psychologist then advised Sade and Aadan to live happily from that point on and took Sabrina with her for further treatment.
By Moses Donald P
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