Is our identity shaped by the way people view us?

By Nirsha Saravanan

“Sometimes you need to let people feel important by disliking you. It’s their little happiness.” Said by shahrukh Khan.

Identity is a mirror in front of you and only your image will be in front because the only person who can form the image in the mirror is you! Do the people who look at us decide which dress I want to wear today or which colour my hair is gonna be today? Nope! Definitely not, similarly, you are the only person who creates your identity. Identity is like your DNA it is not visible to anyone unless they cut your nucleus just to see the exact pattern but it is the genes in your DNA which actually makes up everything you do.

Nevertheless sometimes, in life we don’t get rewarded for the characteristics that we pursue. For example let’s take, Nelson Mandela who was the first elected president in a democratic election in South Africa. He was the man who fought against apartheid by tackling racism and dedicated his life for equality consequently, He had also received the Nobel Prize in 1993 for peacefully putting an end to apartheid and constructing democracy. But in 1962 he was sentenced to life imprisonment for committing sabotage against South Africa’s apartheid government. His final words before his demise was” I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons will live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to see realised. But if it needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die” Although, Nelson Mandela was fighting for the freedom of his country few people called that as sabotage and punished him So the point im trying to make here is, just because many people discouraged him, he never gave up because that was his true identity, nevertheless, few people may see this as anti-patriotism or sabotaging the country but that was definitely not who he had been. It’s only what they have assumed. And these judgements based on what people say and how people look does never truly define who a person is. And by this I mean even an introvert could be a superhero at their home and that silence doesn’t mean they do not have knowledge maybe they are a tiger just waiting for the perfect opportunity and it’s not a good choice to poke the sleeping tiger. Barrack Obama a well-known president, once said “my identity might begin with the fact of my race, but it didn’t, couldn’t end there. Atleast that’s what I believed” so he proved to us that the fact of our identity could be judged at first but in the end it would be us who proved them wrong and it is our belief which shapes our identity, not what others say about us because whatever they think of us is the reflection of who they are not who we are.

On the other hand, people play a major role on how our identity is formed because even though our identity is something that comes within us and we are the ones who write them, sometimes we might have to face circumstances where these identities are lost no matter how deeply embedded they are and the major factor that causes this is our environment; the way people see us, but sometimes it’s for good. For instance when you have a surrounding that doesn't accept you, how will you feel? Wouldn’t you try to change yourself so that you can fit into the plane? And mostly people change and adapt in order to emotionally and physically survive, but those who live in an environment where they feel loved and accepted no matter how bad their identity is find no need to do so. We have all seen the ending of some movies where even the evil characters change in the end, in this, we could see evolution in their identity to survive in their habitat.

This process in biology is called the natural selection. ; Sometimes our culture plays a vital role in shaping our identity because we are inherited with the genes of the culture that we belong to. Our hair colour, our race, our eye colour, everything may criticise us at a point and these will submerge all our characteristics, all our personal attitudes and bring out a new mask that might be antagonist to who your heart actually is but in the end your mind would never be able to get rid of the aura either consciously or subconsciously which one day could be brought back by hypnotism.

Finally, I conclude by saying that Identity is something that can only be written by us, nevertheless, the way people look at us would make us change to who those people are expecting us to be and we can’t blame ourselves for that because that is human Psychology and the environment that we are inside and the cultural identities we have will push us to a time where we would change without even realising ; because we have to adapt in order to survive, despite being a positive or a negative change it completely lies on our hands to stand straight in the tsunami, fight all circumstances and be the person we intend to be because the fire of the diamond of true identity is always there; it just needs the master’s crafting to reveal it- said by Kenneth g. Mills. You do not have to prove your identity to anyone because that’s something that need not be told because nonmatter if you are a superhero, there will be few people who think that you are doing something wrong but that doesn’t mean that you are not a super hero it just means that they are not a good person . A pineapple might look spiky to the people who do not know about it but indeed a treat to the people who have tasted it. “Be in harmony yet be different” said by Confucius. In the end it is us who truly define the cause of our lives and either supress or outcast the potential powers within us.it is you who decide what your dream is to be.

By Nirsha Saravanan