By Tulsi Suru
Perhaps, to hear this and to be heard, I needed to open my eyes to hear this.
The eyes had just opened, the rays of the sun were sitting ready to give their light. But maybe there was still some blurriness in these eyes…. As soon as the rays of the sun fell on my eyes, it was as if it had taken away all my pain. But still something just wasn’t right. Again, the same headache, but this time as if someone had put a stone on the head…
White walls, white bedsheet and lots of wires, connected to different machines. All around it was painted white, as if all the colours of life were gone. Suddenly! This stink from somewhere…. EHHH!! These medicines…. This hospital is where all the colours of life become colourless.
There was still some blurriness in these eyes, but still there was an attempt from my end to see something. But, how can I forget? that weakness had yet caught me and held up tight. And now maybe, I didn’t have the courage to get up again… to fight again…. Don’t know when my eyes got caught in this attempt and… then gone… where my love was…. Where my world was… the same world, where there was only and only our happiness.
I smiled again… Because of this smile, all the pain would subside…. And I would get the strength to fight them again. I was lost again, in the memories, where he was with me…. But I don't know when this pain started…. And tears rolled down from my eyes. Because, it was a fact that maybe he would not come back…. And… Now I was defeated. And maybe this was the moment where I wanted to go back to my past…. And wanted to know…. What happened after all….
Gave so much emphasis to thinking….. that again weakness had started wrapping up again…. And… and… now even my eyes are closing again… And I had given up hope…. The struggle to keep my eyes open was going on…. In the hopes that maybe I can see him for the last time…. Just once, that was mine…. Only mine…. Just one last time….. but he was replaced by doctors and nurses, who surrounded me and….. they had again….. again started in pricking and applying the same needles…. I don’t know when my breathing started to increase…. Maybe I was in need of each single breath… I had put in all my strength, this time….. by raising my hand, so I can take the phone in my hand for once, and see….. one last time…. But my eyes and courage had answered….
After that, only I remember that it was dark all around, and I was lost in my own memories…. Where the whispering of the soft voice started echoing…. And that I wanted to feel it again….
The sound of that voice was so strong that hearing them would give me goosebumps…. But this time, there was a slight change in that voice… the voice was soft and numb, but then that voice had something to say…
“I love you… “ and always will…. There was so much depth, in these last words…. That I wanted to rise again…. And my eyes were just about to open… one…. One last time… but a loud and long sound beeped and stopped me………..
And I was lost forever…. Lost again in that darkness…… but, somewhere….. still those two words…… those were the words that I still hear today….
“I love you…”
“I love you and will always do……”
By Tulsi Suru
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