Love 'love'

By Mehmooda Khan

I wonder sometimes, would we be so much in love with 'love', if it wasn't projected to us in a way it already is? Would we love 'love' without all of it's glory? Without it's preconceived notions of always and forever? Without the 'sending flowers' and 'late night drives' and 'comfy cuddles' and 'cheesy I love yous', without all the 'goodnight kisses' and 'morning messages'? Would we still love 'love' without all it's hype? Without all the endless love stories showing it as an epic aspect of life (more like the soul purpose of existence), without SRK saying 'Mar bhi jaye, pyaar wale, mit bhi jaye, yaar wale, zinda rehti hai unki Mohabbatein', would you still love 'love'? But the meat of this idea is that, we've been in love with 'love' all this while, without even realising it.

We think that loving someone is about them, but NO. It's about us. It's about how they make us feel. Humans are selfish. We love someone because we feel happy with them, we feel secured with them, we feel alive with them. It's always about us. And if two people feel the same happiness, security and liveliness with each other, that's when it works. Loving someone is always about us. And it should be. Love is not colourful like a rainbow, it's soulful like a moonbow. Though it has it's various sides. But most importantly it fills the soul. And that's exactly what it should do. It should consume your soul. When Edgar Allan Poe said, "tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway" and when Hozier said, "I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave", wasn't this the most beautiful thing to say and hear, like ever? It's easy to fall in love with pretty faces, smart minds, perfect body, cute voice. But it's epic to fall in love with insecurities, flaws, vulnerabilities. In the stride to be perfect, we are losing what it feels like to be real. Tatia said, "True love is not true unless it is returned. The world is a cruel place. If we cease to believe in love, why do we even want to exist? " Everybody will love you at your best, but only the real ones will love you at your worst. They will carry all your shame, and be proud of it. They will turn your scars into stars and kiss you on places you feel are your flaws. I am so in love with this quote "Find what you love, and let it kill you" because that is such a romantically toxic way to say "go find that thing that sets you on fire, and let it consume you until there is nothing left" and I just think that is very beautiful. Because I believe that love should consume you. It should make every cell of your body feel alive. It should be epic, because that's what it is meant to be…

They say you don't need another human being to make your life complete, but let's be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn't see them as disasters in your soul, but cracks to put their love into, having someone who holds you tight for twenty minutes straight like you're all they got, someone who looks at you with the same admiration a blind person would have after looking at the moon for the very first time, someone who doesn't make you feel stupid about the happiness you feel when it starts raining, or the peace you get after accidently looking at the crescent moon, someone who enjoys you, your presence, the warmth of your smile, the sound of your laughter, isn't that everything?

Pablo Neruda said, "Love is short, forgetting is long" The thing that most people fail to understand about love is that love is about you, it's not about them. When we love someone we say "I love you". It doesn't matter if that person is handsome or rich or cool or hot, what matters is what " you" feel about them and how they make "you" feel. A person can walk all over you and treat you like nothing after literally spending some great moments with you, they can act like you never existed when you considered them your everything. But even after all this hurt they've given you, you can't help but wonder why do you still love them. You keep staring at the wall of your bedroom at midnight wanting to curse them and ask God to give them the same hurt they've given you so that they might atleast realise what it feels like, but you don't, you just can't. The words get stuck in your throat and tears keep pouring out your eyes but you can't wish something bad for them. Even after everything they have done, you support them, you are happy when they are happy and you are sad when they are. That's love I guess, that even after someone literally broke you, you can't wish something bad for them. And even if they say sorry, you know, bandaids don't fix bullet holes. And sometimes you just feel like to tell them, "I don't want your sorry, I want you to come home" But then you remember all the disrespect, the hurt, the tears and then there you are standing in the middle of a reciprocal danger, there's hurt on both sides.

But the next time someone says they don't love you, remember they are talking about them, not you. You don't lack anything. It's they who lack the ability to feel it. And it's fair. But never blame yourself for someone not loving you. Never. Love, only happens once. And am saying this with outmost knowledge and experience that yes, it only happens once, it'll only happen once. No matter how many guys or girls you've dated, there will always be one who will outweigh them all, that one person who outshines everybody else and you'll be willing to leave everything for them. That is love. Love will always find it's way back to you. True love is not real unless it is returned. And real love will keep coming back to you, you won't be able to get rid of it. And no matter after how long you meet them, be it days or months or years, it'll feel the same, that's what true love is. You'll find people and you'll get attracted to people and you'll think that you love them for that particular point of that, but when that one epic real love comes, everything else fades, and that's when you know, what the real deal is. And lucky are the people who feel the same for each other. There's a huge difference between loving someone and loving someone because they love you. Many people can't get rid of you or can't get over you because of the way you love them, they don't want to let go of that love. But that's not real love. Real love is when you love the other person, unconditionally, without any reason, just because you love them, I think that's a reason good enough. But love only happens once, and it keeps coming back until you realise it's real… How deeply did some people love, so effortlessly, so beautifully, in a way that it unapologetically consumed them, with each fragment of their body, they loved with everything they had, in the purest way. Lucky are those who have loved like that. Love is the most liveliest emotion you can ever feel, no matter how much it hurts, it makes you feel something as strong and beautiful as the whole universe. True love is when you push your limits and when you cross your boundaries because love has no boundaries. And that is so true, true love really consumes you in a way that it changes you. You do things you never imagined you would ever do just for that one person. Their presence grows on you and the scent of their smell hangs around for too long. Do not complicate beautiful love stories with trivial things like appearance, money, society, position, people...

Love is a feeling! There's nothing like "My Type"! There is no type. It's just attraction we have to a particular color, body, skills, hobby... You can get this feeling of love for a person who doesn't even fulfil your list. You can get this feeling just my sitting in front of that person and not even touching them. Their presence is everything, the way you feel around them is everything. Love is not in the face, body, job, position, money, gifts...

Love is in how you feel around that person and how that person makes you feel. And if you ever find that person who makes you feel you wanna stay forever, and it saddens you how you'd feel with them not being around anymore, know that it's love and please do not complicate it with 'I can get someone more beautiful, hot, rich, handsome, funny, etc.' No! Make pickles out of these because honestly it's the last thing that matters. It's the feeling that matters. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world and love stays when everything else fades…

By Mehmooda Khan