By Leena Afsha Ishrot
I thought I was unblessed
Cause never found myself so messed
Lying on my bed
I have coffin and a shroud
This pricking pain
Remember to query again
Do I have normal bosom?
Tumor! I became numb n dumb
I’m chubby
But not saggy
Nor do I have lumps
Cause it’s worse than period cramps
I pray for partially paralyzed
Just not to have tearful eyes
For the first time
I bleed at the age of nine
Some drops of crimson fluid
I have seen while I pee
Mum used to explain in glee
This is the sign of being a girl
But in these days I whirl around on my bed
Then instead of bleeding every lunar month
I bleed by skipping two lunar months
By thirteen I am stubborn to be a boy
Who not only wants play with toy
Unfortunately to be a girl, I ain’t happy
All I wanna change to be a boy
All I hear is “Why you are so silly?
Why aren’t you happy to be gifted as a lady?”
By sixteen I had hormonal disbalance
In reply, Mama used to curse in silence
I thought I was unblessed
Cause never found myself so messed
I used to feel some pain in my pelvic
I am aware that it’s genetic
But gynecologist exclaimed it’s natural
I have experienced too much hairy
Along with B6 deficiency
I was cursed for infertility
As I have suffered from ovarian cyst
At times I felt to quit upon myself
It’s not easy to keep going always
I want nothing except to walk for days
Can you do me a favor by maintaining distance?
Can you get some cocaine?
I know I know ...
You will make excuses to stand-by me
But I don’t wanna drag you down to hellish
I choose you and only you
I never searched for better even in your absence too
(I thought I was unblessed
Cause never found myself so messed) x2
By Leena Afsha Ishrot
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