Parenthood

By Meenhaz Imran

When me and Nikhat first came to know the news that we are going to be parents, I was a little confused. I was happy and at the same time a little scared. The questions that kept coming to my mind - if I can be a good father? If I can take proper responsibility of the mother and the baby? How will be the time of the pregnency?

But the shine in Nikhat's face was enough for me to forget all the worries and happily step into the journey. Slowly, I started feeling it was much tougher for her but she never complained. We stay alone and naturally most of the household chores are taken care of by her which she kept on doing despite all the cramps, fatigue, nausia. The first time Nikhat showed me an app where the baby's development week by week is shown I was amazed. This is a small little human being inside a mothers womb. The app also had plenty of information about the baby's actual growth - how its limbs are being developed, how it's organ are being formed and how they start functioning. All this slowly start making a bonding with the baby. A mother is always feeling the life inside her but a for a father, it's does not come naturally. It is this small little things that build the attachment. Slowly the feeling comes that there is a life which is created by you and it is slowly growing up to be a human like you.

It was a tough journey. Plenty of unwanted advices started to come. Elder women, mostly from my family, who felt themselves to be experts in giving birth started sharing their points of view. All these started making Nikhat crazy and her moodswings sometime annoyed me as well. Many times, instead of keeping cool, I lost my mind and made things worse. But, again and again, we together sorted things out.

With time, we learnt what to ignore and what to listen to. By the time the baby was 20 week old we started feeling her activity. It was an amazing thing. With small vibrations, little tinglings she kept on telling us about her presence. Soon, this activity became more frequent. Whenever Nikhat went for a small nap, the baby started playing. I tried to hear her heartbeats and feel her kicks. It was a lovely period of time when we kept on planning for the baby. We both wanted a daughter.

Finally the day came. I was coming back from my office when suddenly my mother-in-law called to inform that Nikhat's water broke. By the time I could reach, she was already taken to her doctor who examined her and directed hospitalisation. Nikhat had to wait till the next morning to finally enter the operation theatre. She was feeling extreme pain but we were all helpless. The ladies around kept on consoling her by saying that being a mother takes a lot of pain and this is one of those.

At about 12 noon, a doctor came out of the OT with a small baby in her lap to show us - little Nahyan was staring at us with his curious eyes. He was stuck inside the womb by wrapping the chord and could not come out on his own. I saw cut marks on his forehead he was another fighter just like his mumma.

That moment, I felt myself to be a different person. Whatever we see in app is different and this is different. It is a living human being showing his expressions, staring at you, touching you with his tiny fingers - this is an out of the world feeling

When I could meet Nikhat she was still under the effect of anethesia. She said me - Love you and was taken to her cabin. On her way she said that she has seen Nahyan, he is so cute - I smiled at her.

The journey of parenthood startedstarted immediately. Buying tiny replicas of everything was arranged for the most important person in the family. The early days were tough because Nahyan used to stay awake all night. I did a crazy thing by not staying with Nikhat in the early days and Nikhat had to all the pain all alone. She could not sleep for nights. Slowly the little baby started to grow, started to crawl, then stand, then walk and then run. It is such a lovely feeling to watch all this happen in front of your eyes.

I feel so grateful to Nikhat for adjusting so much with my life and bearing all the pain with her lovely smile - the one I felt for the first time I saw her. The smile that can make me forget all the worries, all the problems all the challenges in life. It is only because of her I could enjoy all the lovely things of a parenthood.

By Meenhaz Imran