Perfection In Her Imperfections

By Purnima Upadhyay

Sometimes you experience somethings in your life which will first break you completely and then changes your outlook towards it completely.

One such experience that I came across in my life was PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). The first time when I heard the name of this syndrome, I was shook to the core. Every cell of my body was trembling with fear and my eyes teary. I was just 17 year old when I was diagnosed with it, unaware of the fact that this chronic disorder was much more than just irregular menses.

I remember seeing those tiny cysts in my ovaries during the ultrasound which left me amazed and baffled at the same time. I was amazed considering the fact ,that how tiny they were and yet their impact over my body was so huge. I was baffled thinking the kind of uncertainties life can offer you at anytime.

I had innumerable questions in my mind out of all of which - “WHY ME?” was the most prevalent one. But during my journey to find certain answers, I realised that I was not alone in this war against PCOS. In fact I came across that PCOS is one of the most common hormonal problem in women and yet most negligible due to the social stigma which comes along with it. It can be a precursor to many life threatening diseases such as hypertension, cardiovascular diseases, diabetes and ovarian cancer, but due to embarrassment remain undetected for long. It should not come as a surprise that it has become a leading cause of women’s death and disability.

PCOS does not affect you only physically but also drain you emotionally. The frequent questions about our womanhood imposed by oneself and the society debilitate the mental health of the fighter. Irregular menses, infertility, excessive hair growth on face and body, male pattern hair thinning, acne and obesity weakens the perception of oneself and create body-positivity issues. It seriously takes a heavy toll on the psychological well-being of a person. Being less a woman in people's eye hurts.

I remember how I was refrain by my mother to speak about my condition to anyone else as she was afraid that I might not become the topic of infertility club or tagged as ‘BANJH’ (a term used in Hindi for infertile women). I was too young to understand her back then, but now when I hear statements from people and how the mothers tell their sons to be away from girls suffering from PCOS. It aches my heart and makes me ask a question to all such women –“That how after being a woman themselves, they can act so insensitive towards another of their own kind?

Nobody wants it! No one asked for it in the first place! It was something unfortunate and rather being sympathetic towards women suffering with it, WE tend to JUDGE! thus make them feel inferior.

I strongly condemn it!

As a part of modern society where we want women to be independent, confident, beautiful and opinionated women, we need to understand that we all have to ‘Stand With Them , Not Against Them’.

It is all a matter of psychology. A woman with a strong and a happy mind will cope up better against this disorder. It has been clinically proven that less stress and anxiety improves fertility issues and increase your chance at procreation. Having PCOS/ PCOD does not make a woman sterile or lessen her womanhood. The partners of the women suffering from this disease should understand that it’s a journey for both and should support them in every way possible. Most of the time the women suffering from it are ashamed and in denial, they possess guilt and blame things and others for their condition. It kinds of become a self-defence mechanism for them to cope up with the situation. But it's all temporary. The only permanent solution to this problem apart from medication & meditation is love and acceptance from their loved ones and the society.

“It is ‘She’ who give life to others and therefore ‘She’ needs to be respected for everything ‘She’ is. Even her Imperfection is her perfection.”

REFERENCES :

• THE STIGMA OF WOMANHOOD THIEF: POLYCYSTIC OVARY SYNDROME

By Purnima Upadhyay