By Priyanshi Dalke
In the popular series, Fleabag, the protagonist along with her sister attends a lecture on feminism (They should have those in schools y'all!). During the lecture, the sisters candidly (and without any delay) admits that they would happily trade 5 years of their life for a "perfect" body. This leads her to admitting the harsh reality- "I am a bad feminist." Well, I stand by Fleabag!
There are a lot of faces of being a bad feminist, but today we are going to talk about the ugliest of them all. An ugly face.
Any naive person can see the wonderous effects of a "perfect" body on the quality of life of a person. That is why us "imperfect feminists" will happily sacrifice 5 years of our life over it. The imperfection lies not in the feminists, but in the way our society works.
Ironically, the ugly truth which I wanted to talk about today is Pretty Privilege.
Pretty privilege a term that refers to a better life experience if one is "pretty". More like petty privilege!.
And no you cannot tell me it is 21st century and it is a thing of the past. I have seen it in schools, colleges and even offices. I have seen it in kids (Seriously!!!???!!!), teenagers (as if they already aren't going through enough!) and adults (Give me a break). and it is a high time we talk about how to eradicate it.
"It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness. A handsome woman talks nonsense, you listen and hear not nonsense but cleverness. She says and does horrid things, and you see only charm. And if a handsome woman does not say stupid or horrid things, you at once persuade yourself that she is wonderfully clever and moral." - Leo Tolstoy. Well the author knew how to world works.
In school, it starts with teachers paying more attention to the "cuter" kids which leads to them being more confident and more insecurities in the kids who are ignored. This continues all through the precious growing stages of a person's life. The "cute" kids in preschool become the popular teenagers in high school; the "hot" ones in the colleges; and ultimately the "so comfortable in their skin and able to take on any challenge because they believe in themselves" adults. And even after that, people who look a certain way are considered to be more loyal, more dedicated and more generous (This is all in addition to being an eye candy!). Well, aren't they God's favourite! But this article is not (just) about ranting. I actually do believe this is a serious problem and affects a lot of people. Pretty privilege has been flattering the vanity of a certain section of society and highlighting on the futility of others. One major hurdle in overcoming this demon is how deeply it is rooted in our lives.
Unlearning is the key! We need to unlearn whatever ideas we have in our minds of beauty. "God made humankind in his image and likeness. " Unlearn the fact that a particular type of nose is better, A certain body type is better, A type of skin is better.... Who wrote the manual on beauty standards. Smash down those rules and then learn the fact that beauty is nothing but skin deep, Realize the fact that you and everyone around you is beautiful just for being their unique self, Stop being such "lookists" and Relearn that not finding someone drop dead gorgeous just for the basic fact that God created them, is being unfaithful. To the imperfect feminists, I say, Never decide your niche based on your appearance, Not finding yourself drop dead beautiful just for the basic fact that God created you, is being unfaithful. The sky is your canvas and the world is your oyster . Woe betide your ungrateful personality if you start to blame your face for your failures! Teachers and parents, please do not judge a book by its cover. It is possible the book thrives on your validation alone. Appreciate the book and it will surprise you!
By Priyanshi Dalke
Well said.
This needed to be said out loud!
true
This was so important to point out. A difficult observation I must say.