By Oishi Pattanayak
-"Doraemon! Where am I?"
-"You are on the hill behind your school, with me."
-"But...but, I was in my room, asleep! How did I come here? Oh my God! What's this on my neck? Some gadget of yours?"
Indeed the gadget was planted on Gian's neck while he was asleep, and an incredible truth was to come out to the world! Just to reduce Gian's anxiety, Doaemon says,
-"Nobita came running to me in tears because you had beat him up? Now he wants to know...well, I want to know, too– why exactly you beat kids up! Why, Gian? Do you have any explanation that we don't know of?"
-"So, this is your way of knowing?"
Gian laughs it off, taunting the whole idea. Doraemon had secretly planted his gadget named 'Truth Serum Insect'. He replies,
- "I guess so!"
- "How's this possible?"
- "You are still asleep Gian, so were you when I planted the gadget on you."
- "Then what? You came in my dreams?"
- "Yes, through the insect, actually. It bit on your neck, making your subconscious visible to a screen before Nobita and me. And for you, it appears like you're dreaming. In your 'dream', you reach your favourite place…."
- "Favourite place?"
- "Isn't this hill your favourite place, Gian?"
- "Yes. But, go away, Doraemon! I don't want to see you."
- "No, I'll go only after knowing the truth. And, this insect bite will automatically make you speak the truth of your heart...we can't keep you asleep in reality for long. So, speak up, and I'll try not to interrupt you. You can talk one-to-one with me only, because I'm the one regulating the gadget and seeing you on my monitor screen, and you'll see an illusion of me sitting beside you!"
The 'Truth Serum Insect' gadget works. All the silence of all the world prevails for a moment, and breaking it automatically speaks the villain:
"I don't know where my insecurity started; maybe with my gradual realisation that I am neither rich, nor intelligent, or privileged, or even beautiful like my friends, I realised that I'm not enough. My mother runs a shop and can hardly feed our hungry bellies. Well...she usually beats me up more than she feeds me–it's not her fault –how could a mother love a good-for-nothing child like me! What do I have? Beauty? No. Merit? No. Utility? No. I've heard, mother's love is unconditional. Well, probably my case is exceptional! But, how am I supposed to deal with it, Doraemon? Celebrate it because it's not commonplace, or mourn it because I'm deprived?..."
A moment of pause, Gian looks at the setting sun– dazzling and Pink, with hints of maroon glow,–and speaks again:
"...these elegant sunbeams remind of Shizuka. She is such a beautiful human being! God has blessed her with a house full of Pink coloured dreams-come-true, a benevolent mother and so many admirers in school! Think of Sunio…"
Gian bursts into laughter with teardrops popping down, stammers a bit and looks at Doraemon. The Blue-and-White robot is staring at his face like a startled baby, probably thinking if this is the same Gian he had known till yesterday. But, Gian was a different person altogether–he was a scary local bully! And, a bully doesn't have such hidden sorrows! Gian understands Doraemon's state of awe, but due to the effect of the gadget, resumes anyway,
"...Sunio, that spoiled brat! He gets every single goddamn thing he wants! His mother literally worships him with lots of food and luxury! Don't think this to be my jealousy, Doraemon. I am just comparing his privilege with my crushed and ripped off luck! I snatch his toys because, you know, he never intentionally gives them to anyone to play with. Have you ever seen him giving a single remote control car to Nobita? You know why? Nobita doesn't have the power to scare Sunio and snatch his toys, and thus, he watches them from a distance only! I just want to fulfil what every child dreams of–getting toys to play with. My mother doesn't buy me any, maybe because she can not afford any….Uh! Maybe...maybe a few moments of jealousy arise in me sometimes. Maybe, Doraemon, may-be…"
The sun is getting low, and the Hulk is settling down more and more.
"...I could have had you! What does Nobita have to deserve you that I don't? Nobita has a saviour, a true best friend, a wish bestowing lifelike robot beside him! What do I have? I have a voice that doesn't even sing properly no matter how hard I try to...yes, Doraemon, I know what I sing and what it sounds like. I have always known. I just try to conceal my inability by using my physical power to force everybody to attend my concerts. It gives me a pseudo-pleasure to what the fulfilment of my dream could look like! Every night I dream of thousands of people before me, filling my heart with applauds, asking me to sing more...but, my friends never even inspire me to do better, they just run away! They run far away, Doraemon…."
Gian wipes his tears, looks at Doraemon–his face is down with a visible sympathy blended with guilt. Gian again looks at the almost-down sun and smiles.
"Jaiko, my dear dear sister, I want happiness to be with her at least! Even if God denies me every fortune, I won't complain if he transmits all the goodness of the universe to my sister. Just like me, she has a concrete ambition of hers–she wants to be a comic book writer! She has such extraordinary talent, but hardly ever receives proper recognition. I remember you, Nobita and Shizuka trying to distribute her comic books among our friends once. I will always be grateful to you for that! I will always be grateful to everyone who helps my sister–my darling Jaiko!
...I don't want to be shown as the villain anymore, Doraemon! I want to be accepted as a normal human being with normal flaws, deprived, and turned into a bully by his terrible circumstances. I want to be loved, hugged, kissed! I want to be gifted with toys! I want to be called a precious child by my mother! I want to have Sunio truly caring for me without pretensions! Doraemon, doesn't your 'fat', 'ugly' Gian deserve anything good at all?"
-"Gian, it's not like…."
-"Let it be, Doraemon, I know how you all speak of my looks and my obesity. Not only have I overheard at times, but also, you know, the air has ears. And they do bring your adjectives to me. I used to get sad and angry earlier. But, now I don't take them seriously anymore, I have just stopped looking at the mirror. It's pretty simple, pretty easy to do. No massive giant like me deserves a mirror, anyway! But, every human being certainly deserves happiness despite how horrible they look like."
The sun is down, and all the splashes of darkness the twilight radiates, seem to shout out for Gian. The huge boy stands up and smiles.
"I wish to leave the town someday for a better life. Even if I can't, I want Jaiko to do the same. I want her to run away to a place where nobody judges anyone by their looks, instead, encourages true efforts. Let Nobita have you, let Sunio have all the riches of the world, let Shizuka have her Pink wonderland, and Dekisugi, his prosperous life. I will wait for better days, with my pet dog Muku beside me. I have been a bully, and I am sorry for that; but, my circumstances are hard to win over! I am sorry for existing, Doraemon! Bye….If sleep till late and don't help in our shop, mother will beat me up again."
Gian smiles again. Doraemon, with teary eyes, says, "Sorry, I can't make you stay longer and try to settle things, for, your mother will indeed beat you...Please visit us tomorrow after school! Nobita is in tears beside me, too, and we both want to see the Gian Takeshi Goda we never thought we would see through!" and tightly embraces Gian–a villain who needed a listener.
Doraemon shuts the gadget off, and Gian wakes up in his room.
"It was all a dream, I guess! For, in reality, I'd never let anyone know what I go through. Such a weird dream!", sighing, Gian says and walks towards their shop….
By Oishi Pattanayak
Comments