The Emotions

By Rageesha

The bones, the flesh and the blood, along with the union of these physical things, there is something that can’t be seen but feel and that’s the emotion. We human beings have different emotions, and with all these emotions come different expressions. Few emotions become memories while few we want to erase from memories. But, is this the true way of living life? Or we should treat all the emotions equally?

In the present day, the media, the big successful people, everybody who is in limelight, speaks about the emotions and they say whatever it is, one should never ignore any of the emotions and must be always there for any kind of emotional support. My question is, “Do we really value all the emotions or just the one we are comfortable with?”

And, about emotional support, “Do we provide what we say emotional support in all the situations to our dear ones or only to those that seems appropriate to us?”

For few emotions what we believe is that, we have done our best and it can’t be better than this, until someone show us that we are wrong, which hardly happens.

I hope, below few examples will help to understand what I am referring to.

Let’s start to understand the emotions of a mother. When a child goes crabby, everyone on the floor tries to calm the child and try to figure out what’s wrong with the child. But after one point of time, it’s left on the mother to take care of the situation. Suppose it’s ongoing since morning. The mother who is handling this situation since morning is exhausted, irritated, and not able to bear all these any more, starts shouting at the child or even slaps the child, what will be the reaction of the people?

Below are the few reactions, the mother may receive:

• You might have handled this situation in a mature way.

• Do you think the child is really going to be better by your scolding /slapping?

• Is this how you should behave with the child?

• This was not expected from you. You are “THE” mother, the child cries for you and you lost your temper on that child. Really bad of you.

And many more, but how many will exactly try to understand from the family, the situation of the mother who actually lost her patience at that moment?

• How many knows that after that particular moment, even she will be blaming herself for the act?

• How may will try to know what she was dealing with since morning?

• How many will try to find out what went wrong that she took such action?

• How many will ask her if she is in some physical /mental pain?

Believe me, very few and in some cases no one. So why the much needed support is missing in this case, where, suppose, only for couple of times in a month, the mother fails to handle the situation?

It’s tough, but it’s the bitter truth, the one who suffer must suffer is what the society believes in such mild, taken for granted cases.

For the next example, let’s move to the lovers who are in relationship.

The girl is jolly, extrovert kind of a person who always likes to live the moment, surrounding with the people whose company she loves. The boy is an introvert person who speaks about justice, fair, unfair in a very righteous manner, which attracted the girl to fall for him.

The time comes when the girl shows her desire to disclose the relationship with her friends, to boyfriend. But he denies stating that he doesn’t want to bring this in public until everything is finalized. The very moment the small fear starts developing in the girl, like, is there any chances of him, leaving me. Before the relationship, the girl used to spend most of the time with her friends, but after his entry in her life, she loves to spend her leisure time with her boyfriend. So unknowingly, she slowly gets disconnected from her friends.

Whenever the discussion of revealing their relationship comes, it spoils the entire mood. As the guy’s nature is calm and composed, and it’s his decision, it hardly affects him. On the contrary , who was sharing everything with her friend, now starts to talk to herself, cries alone in the room, even sometimes laugh at her own situation in loneliness, as her boyfriend will not listen to her and her friends don’t know anything, so she can’t discuss with them regarding this topic. Ultimately, she is left in the spider web of her own emotions from which she can hardly come out.

Slowly, the girl will start feeling insecure, lonely and helpless, which may drag her to depression. In some cases, the boyfriend takes all these emotions for granted as he thinks; it’s an unnecessary thing on which she is overthinking. But do these emotions be really ignored?

• Why his support and understanding was not there when she needed him the most?

• Why he never sensed the slow changes in her, which was making her hollow from inside?

• Why she was never explained about the denial of the disclosure of their relationship?

• Why he never felt her loneliness and insecurity?

In this case, the girl only thought about the negative side of the rejection. She should have kept faith, but yes, if the faith breaks it will again lead to her emotional destruction.

There may be things in the guy’s mind, like people can make stories once their relationship is out. But dude people are not that fool that they can’t sense it, who will tell him, that stories are already cooked and served. The other thing may be the same for which the girl had fear, like what if his parents won’t agree and nothing works out in future. In any of the cases, I feel that he should discuss this openly with her so that for the first case at least the insecurity things won’t develop and for the second one they should find out a mature way rather than overlooking her emotions.

In this story, the girl’s expectation was much with the boy as she trusted her blindly and so she suffered.

Sometimes blind love takes much more than expected from the person who expects more from it.

Now we will peek into the trio of the man, his wife and his mother. Let’s not take the very obvious case where the husband either supports the wife or his mother. The man is a caring, loving and matured guy. His wife is loving, emotional and helpful woman. His mother is a good human being but with little selfish nature. Here, as his wife and mother are two people having two different thoughts can develop misunderstanding or different opinion on different subjects.

If the wife in a good day complains about her mother in law to her husband, the husband won’t accept it. In other case, if his mother shows a negative attitude towards his wife, the husband will ignore it. The common statement that he can answer to both of them is, “You people don’t know each other thoroughly, so stop assuming things”.

In this particular case, everyone’s emotions are ignored by each other. The wife’s concern or worry is ignored by her husband and her mother in law. His mother’s emotions may be misunderstood or unnoticed by him and his wife. And how the man will deal in such situation is not considered by his wife or mother.

Look at the irony, the man who is supposed to be loved, cared and understood by his wife and mother, is always positioned in dilemma of whom to support and what to say. Here, he will rather choose the silence and will hold his head with hand for peace of mind.

But eventually, you can’t blame anyone of them for the ignorance of others emotions, as they might have seen this since childhood that some emotions are better ignored at some point of time, which made them believe that it’s ok to leave some emotional problem open ended.

This teach us that always giving importance to all emotions can lead to difficult times, so better in such cases leave the emotions as it is.

So those were few examples that came in my mind, but I have one more case where the person itself wants that his/her emotions must be ignored by the people.

What opinion you guys have on the one who makes everyone laughs? Is that one of the happiest person or it’s the other way?

They say, “Whoever is happy make others happy too...” It holds true with most of the people. If one feels good then only they can make their surrounding happy. If one feels frustrated, shattered, then they can ruin a good environment. On the other hand for some this saying is just the myth. There will be immense struggle going inside the heart and mind, but as they won’t be comfortable to speak it up, they pretend to be happy and trust me they leave no stone unturned to light up others day.

This brings the conclusion that few emotions are ignored, few are taken for granted and few are purposefully hidden. No one knows which emotions need to be attended and which one can remain unattended. Just follow your heart, as no one can know emotions better than the heart.

By Rageesha