By Peenaz Palamkot
First of all a Mother is certainly the most important human being in everyone’s life. As the time has passed on, mothers are not only caregivers; they are more often than not the breadwinners too! Every time a woman stands up for herself, her passions and dreams, she’s under the microscope irrespective whether she has embraced motherhood or not. A woman is always expected to stop and take a break so that she embraces motherhood whole heartedly and continues the existence of human race! In today’s times there are a few exceptions when women have dared to speak their mind and come forward with real struggles of their journey of motherhood. Just like there’s a popular philosophy that states: ‘Teacher’ is above and beyond all professions. Similarly the richest or for a matter of fact even the unfortunate ones will always been in amazement of the one person who gave them their life and its meaning; their Mother. Apart from all the scientific processes that go into becoming a mother, there’s so much more that changes and rearranges a woman on a subconscious level when she chooses to become a mother. The saying: “That, which doesn’t break you, makes you stronger”; makes so much sense when a woman journeys into motherhood. More often than not nature plays it’s complications and the ones desperately trying to conceive have to go through painful procedures before they are able to start the lifelong journey into motherhood.
There’s major bias in society that always highlights motherhood as a biological equation! The one who has given birth is nowhere in the picture in so many cases, by choice or due to unavoidable circumstances even! It is a conscious process where you put the other human being always at the forefront of everyday of your life and love and protect them with your heart and soul.
Some might argue that a mother or motherhood always has to have all the complexities of biological factors and the whole nine months process. But why should something so beautiful and strong be limited to scientific factors alone! The day you adopt and decide to love, protect and cherish another life other than yourself you embrace motherhood and your mind, thinking and lifestyle changes completely. There are so many noble souls out there who have adopted villages, schools, communities and are working day and night to give those lives a quality that is rightfully theirs. But sadly those mothers don’t get their due respect and acknowledgements. I am not diverting from my intended subject but questioning the bias that’s been gripping such a pure and sensitive role that nature has provided to every woman out there! One of the best example of conscious motherhood can been seen through the works of Danish aid worker Anja Ringgren Loven, co-founder of ‘African Children’s Aid Education and Development Foundation (ACAEDEF). There are innocent kids out there that are abandoned and left to die because of suspicions that they are witches! She has rescued such kids and given them life and love that they rightfully deserve! The particular poster child of this foundation whom she has named ‘Hope’ is such a great live example of what unconditional love can do. The basic structure of being a mother lies in the form that you are consciously putting aside your needs and comfort and working towards a brighter future and quality life for another human soul. It takes a lot of strength and courage for those women too, who consciously let go of their biological clocks and choose the unconventional route to adopt, nurture and uplift another life. Whether those are the lives of abandoned kids, animals, old age homes or whole villages even.
The irony is such that, a woman is scrutinized even if she has more biological kids than she’s supposed to according to society. Then there’s scrutiny for not having any biological one’s at all and the label is called being a selfish person. So whatever she chooses she’ll be damned by the society either way!
It is in the essence of a woman’s life and existence that there will always come a point where she will sacrifice comfort, personal wishes and passionately dedicate her remaining life to someone else. To protect and improve the life of another human is the true core of what motherhood is. There will come a time in future when this purest definition will be understood and accepted by society and No woman will have to justify her decisions of Not having biological kids or even if she has ten biological ones.
Just like the fact that motherhood isn’t limited to biological factors, but it’s a deep emotion & unique factor running through our DNA, I would like to shed light upon the fact that motherhood isn’t limited to one particular gender (female) either! The best example in the gender field is a very strong Indian, Aditya Tiwari; who’s also the country’s youngest single father. The beautiful son he adopted was not an orphan actually but given up by his “well-educated & well- settled parents because of downs syndrome, a hole in the heart & other medical factors. The fact that Aditya had to go through two years before he could officially be called the father of the child speaks volumes about the bias & misconception towards motherhood; in this case fatherhood or as I’d like to call it- Unconditional Parenthood DNA. There were a lot of difficulties & ill-legal activities that Aditya had to face before he finally got to embrace parenthood. He was lied to that the child in question was shifted to another institute & was being considered for international adoption, but he discovered that they were holding more such special needs children ill-legally & were going to try & mint more money ill-legally. Two years of constant chasing & writing to all possible departments of the government; even the PMO & President of India; finally in 2016 Aditya officially became Dad to beautiful Avnish. Since then he’s always focused on Avnish’s strengths & all the special qualities that the gifted kid shows; thanks to the little Extra chromosome. So you see my fellow humans it will always be a matter of DNA that will decide when a person acts on its parental instincts & their life changes forever. No biological factor or gender factor will come between you & that beautiful child of yours, & that’ll be an awesome world.
By Peenaz Palamkot
Comments