By Purav Agarwal
Let me take you on a trip into the past; into the life of a mass murderer, the Father of Religion, for he is responsible for countless, killed in the name of God.
His name and age are unknown to me, but he is not. He was an ordinary guy with not many distinctions from other people; he did not have any company, the only one.
Like someone in darkness grabs even a glimmer of light, he craved for people to light up his lonely dark world. There is no wondering why he befriended the stranger Consciousness when they stumbled. However, this stranger was no ordinary person. He knew much about the world and wasted no time sharing his knowledge with his new friend. He would ask him questions that were basic yet more profound than the deepest of wells.
Consciousness: Why haven't you ended your life yet, my friend?
Father of Religion: What do you mean? Do you want me to die?
Consciousness: That’s not the case. Friends don’t wish each other’s death, do they? And since we are friends I certainly don’t want you to die. What I mean is this. You never asked for this life, did you? It was nonetheless given to you. It was someone else’s will. Your parents’. And you were constrained to accept when it was being given to you because you didn’t have a will of your own. But now you do have your own will. Wouldn't you agree?
Father: Yes, I would. I do have a will now.
Consciousness: You certainly would, you're a wise man. You see, since you have a will now, you also have the freedom to choose.
Father: You've lost me again, I’m afraid, Con.
Consciousness: Forgive my ineptitude, my friend, and allow me to summarise. When we don’t have a will of our own, we only have the option of ‘acceptance’. Consequently, we are bound to accept the will of other people. But, with a will, comes the option of ‘repudiation’ and the freedom to choose between the two options. Wouldn’t you agree, fellow interlocutor?
Father: I would. Will does allow one the freedom of choice.
Consciousness: It does, yes. And what I’m trying to say is, you accepted life because you didn’t have a will of your own when it was being given to you. But now, since you do, you also have the other option which is, the rejection of life. Am I wrong?
Father: As long as I follow your path of thought, no, you aren’t wrong.
Consciousness: Well, considering you acknowledge you have two options now. One, to live life, and the second, to end it, I want you to ask the following. Why is it that you continue to stick to the will of your parents, now that you have a will of your own? Why haven't you put your will into practice? To put it in simpler terms, Why do you continue to live an unsolicited life, given that now, you are aware, you also have the option to end it?
Father: So it’s not that you want me to die but to make a conscious choice by my own will.
Consciousness: Didn't I call you a wise man? That is exactly what I want you to do. So, answer my question, my friend. Why haven't you ended your life yet?
Father: Your question does make one think about their existence. If you had asked the same question to someone else, they wouldn't have any answers. But, you see Con, I am not like them. I am the one with answers and I do have an answer to your question.
Consciousness: I never doubted you, wise one. There’s a reason I came to you looking for answers. Now, give me the answer I've searched for everywhere and awaited so much. I hope you won't let me down.
Father: I will not. Yes, it's true that my existence was not a choice I made of my own free will. And it's also true that now I have a will and consequently, the option of repudiation. Nevertheless, I choose the first option which is acceptance and thus choose, to not end my life.
Consciousness: That doesn't answer my question, my friend. I am wondering if you are avoiding my question. Why is it that you choose to not end your life? Given that life hasn't been kind to you in the least bit. You are poor and lonely. The only thing that keeps company with you are your maladies. Your suffering is immeasurable. What is it that still impels you to continue to exist? That is what I have been longing to know. Answer me already!
Father: Why is it that I don’t end my life no matter what, you ask? It's because I am not the one to give up and lose.
Consciousness: Give up? Lose? Which fight are you referring to? Who is this that you're fighting against?
Father: Against life. You see, all of us are in a fight against life. Life will knock you down several times because it is much stronger than you are. But what’s amazing about this fight is that there is no limit on the number of rounds. You can get up as many times as you want to and the fight will continue, which is exactly what it means to live life. However, when you end your life, you give up and decide to stay down, thereby causing life to emerge victorious in the battle. And I don’t like to lose which is why I continue to live and choose the option of ‘acceptance’ by my own free will. What is it that you desire to do, Con? I don’t take you as someone with an affinity for losing, either. Will I be wrong to presume that?
Consciousness: Certainly not. I find ourselves on common ground in that one.
Father: Well then, I have answered your question. And since we both don’t like to lose, we must not give up, wouldn't you agree?
Consciousness: I cannot, I’m afraid. In fact, because we don’t like to lose is precisely why I think we must not continue to fight.
Father: What are you saying, Con? Your statement is a paradox in itself. How can one stop fighting and emerge victorious? How can someone who doesn't like to lose talk about giving up?
Consciousness: It does not come as a surprise to me to see you react this way. I understand you. Allow me to elaborate, my friend. You said we are all in a fight against life. A type of fight that has innumerable rounds. And one mustn’t give up voluntarily. And you called that, living, am I correct?
Father: You are. That is what I said.
Consciousness: Right. This fight against life that you're referring to, is a pointless fight. And it is that because the winner of this fight is predetermined. No matter how many times one gets up, it is only a matter of time before he gets knocked out again, permanently. Life is going to win every time. Death is inevitable. Why must someone choose to continue to participate in a fight they didn't choose and of which the winner is already fixed? Not to mention the suffering it brings along with it. Don’t you think, it's a meaningless fight? Would someone like you who doesn't like to lose at any cost, fight a battle where losing is inevitable?
Father: I wouldn't, no.
Consciousness: Well then, my question remains unanswered. I know you possess the answer. You were the one who told me that earlier. Why am I still in search of it then? Do you not want to give me the answer, my friend? Why haven't you given up on the meaningless battle against life? Tell me already!
The father of religion didn't have the answer. He lied to his only friend but he couldn't let Consciousness know that. Perhaps, ‘lie’ is a strong word here. He wasn't aware that he didn't have the answer but he couldn't let Consciousness know that, either. He was his only friend. The only course of action that seemed logical to him was to come up with an answer. So, he decided to do that and started musing about the answer, Consciousness longed to know. After contemplating the question for several days, he finally managed to come up with a reply.
It was yet another gloomy day in the life of the lonely geezer, the father of religion. He was all by himself reclined on his wooden chair in his room, deeply lost in his rumination. Such is the prerequisite for having someone like Consciousness in your life. Complete isolation. After a while, he summons Consciousness back to satiate his desire for the truth.
Father: Your question did make me think a lot. So much so that, it has taken me several days to come up with an answer, and I deeply apologize for having you kept waiting for so long. I am finally prepared to answer your question and I am not going to let you down this time around.
Consciousness: Well then, let me ask you once more, my friend. Why is it that you haven't ended your life yet?
Father: During our last argument, you stated that my existence is the will of my parents, did you not, Con?
Consciousness: I did. Our existence is the will of our parents.
Father: Right. But you are only partially correct in saying that.
Consciousness: How is that?
Father: You see Con, our existence is indeed the will of our parents but to make that statement more precise, we must say that our existence ultimately traces back to the will of an almighty being. To the will of God.
Consciousness: God? Who is that?
Father: Before I tell you who God is, you must be aware of a different truth about life. That all living beings are interdependent. Life is interdependent, that is. My existence or my life was indubitably the will of my parents and without their existence, my life was impossible. And such is the case with them as well. Their life would not have been possible without the will and existence of their parents, my grandparents, who wouldn't have had a life either if it hadn't been the will of their parents. My great grandparents. We can continue to regress further in that direction but that would be fruitless. We will always be able to relapse further back. Am I wrong, Con?
Consciousness: Certainly not. Animal life is interdependent, yes.
Father: Right. All of us have evolved from a single being and by time have taken our own evolutionary path which has given rise to the coexistence of the diversity of living animals we see today. Therefore, our life ultimately is the will of that single being from which all of us have evolved. Let’s call him Creation. And to make myself clear, we are not creations of Creation but merely parts of Him. Have I made myself comprehensible Con?
Consciousness: Till now, you have.
Father: Alright. Since we now know the existence of Creation, there must be someone who created Him as well, right? Every creation has a creator, wouldn't you agree, Con?
Consciousness: I do agree, yes.
Father: Well then, that creator behind the existence of Creation is whom I call God. He is the creator of Creation and hence the creator of all parts of Creation. He is the creator of you and me. He is the Ultimate Creator. So, if we trace back enough we can say that our life is eventually the will of the Ultimate Creator, God. And since He is the Ultimate Creator and it was His will for me to exist, defying His will is not of my interest. If God wanted me to exist, there must be a reason behind it. If He wanted me to participate in this fight against life, there must be a reason behind it. You said the fight against life is meaningless. It is so, only without the will of God. Therefore, I shall provide you with my answer which you have longed to know all this time. I continue to live because my existence was the will of God.
Consciousness’ Reply
Consciousness: So you're saying, since you were given existence by a superior being, by God, if I may use your term, your life is not meaningless?
Father: Correct.
Consciousness: What is it that gives your life meaning?
Father: The Will of God, Con.
Consciousness: Okay. So what is it that you’re supposed to do in this fight against life? Merely, keep fighting and not do anything worthwhile while you’re alive? You said since it was the will of God for you to exist, there must be a reason behind that will, am I correct?
Father: You are indisputably correct.
Consciousness: Do you know the Reason, my friend?
Father: As of now, no. Not yet.
Consciousness: Well then, would you not say that you must first know the Reason with certitude and then talk about the existence of it? How can you say there is something without being aware of it yourself first?
Father: What is the problem with that?
Consciousness: When you say there is something without knowing for certain about its being, you are believing in its existence rather than knowing its existence. There is nothing wrong with believing or having faith in something that does exist in actuality. But having faith in something that does not exist at all is dangerous. Because then, you are vulnerable to being controlled by people who have realized the non-existence of that thing or idea that you have faith in and can then alter its characteristics as per their needs. You become vulnerable to being misled. You become a slave not of the thing you had faith in but of humans who are no different than you. Now tell me, my friend, would you prefer to be a slave of the Reason behind the will of the superior being or of the people who are no different than you?
Father: Of the Reason behind the will of God, without a doubt.
Consciousness: Any perspicacious man would choose that. I never doubted your wisdom, wise one. Now, since you have chosen to be the slave of the Reason behind the will of God, don't you think you must know the Reason?
Father: Yes, I do.
Consciousness: Well then, I ask you once more. Do you know the Reason?
Father: Not yet.
Consciousness: And do you know The Way to realize the Reason?
Father: I do not, I'm afraid.
Consciousness: If you don't know the Reason and nor do you possess a way of knowing it, don't you think you should not talk about its existence for the reasons I have stated above?
Father: Yes. I will be a slave of people who are no different than me rather than a slave of the Reason which transcends my life, otherwise.
Consciousness: Correct. And since you don't know the Reason or have a way of knowing the Reason, will I be wrong to presume that you don't believe in the existence of that Reason anymore?
Father: No Con, you would not be wrong to presume that.
Consciousness: Well then, since you don't believe in the existence of a reason behind the will of God and eventually your existence, don’t you think your life is meaningless after all?
Father: I have no way of refuting that statement, I’m afraid.
Consciousness: Right. I have proven your life meaningless yet again because of which my question remains unanswered, my friend. Why is it that you continue to live a life you didn't choose and which is devoid of any meaning? Why is it that you haven't ended your life yet? I have realized you do not wish to give me the answer. Otherwise, why would I still be longing for it? Even after waiting for days while you ruminate on my question. I am utterly disappointed.
Father: No, Con. That is not the case. I do want to give you the answer. I haven't been able to use the right words for it which is why you are yet without the answer you have desired for years. Please, a few more days are all I need and I will then satiate your desire for the truth.
In the coming days, the Father of Religion contemplated the question in insane fanaticism. He skipped meals, locked himself in his room, and ruminated. He wasn't able to come to terms with the fact that his life has no meaning as a result of which it doesn't matter if he lives or ends it. He couldn't accept that his life was worthless. He didn't want to accept he was living a life given to him without his will and that he has continued to live an unsolicited life full of suffering without even a reason that gives meaning to that suffering. All in all, he didn't want to believe that he must end his life; if he doesn't come up with an answer, that is.
The Lust For Life And The Suffering
After a few more days of father’s rumination, the two friends rendezvoused yet again at the same place, the father’s room. The father reclined on his wooden chair, all alone; Consciousness summoned.
Father: I have thought deeply about your question Con, and today I say this with certitude that you will have the answer you have longed for. I am grateful to you for your patience. You are a good friend.
Consciousness: Alright, then. Taking your word for it, let me ask you one last time. Why haven't you ended your life yet, my fellow interlocutor?
Father: My answer hasn't changed from the one I gave you in our previous argument. I continue to exist because my existence was the Will of God. However, there is an appendage to it which is what I believe will sate your desire for the Truth.
Consciousness: Then sate my desire by making me aware of that appendage, my friend.
Father: In our last argument you told me, I should not zealously believe in something I do not know and don’t have a way of knowing which is why I should not believe in the existence of a Reason behind the will of God, and all that makes my life meaningless and not worth living, correct?
Consciousness: Indubitably.
Father: Right. And I agreed to not believe in the Reason if I do not know or have a way of knowing it.
Consciousness: You did, yes.
Father: But you see Con, now I do have a way of knowing that Reason. And since I do have a way, I am allowed to believe in the existence of it, right?
Consciousness: If you don’t know the Reason but have a way of knowing it then yes, you can believe in the existence of that Reason. Do you know The Way?
Father: I do.
Consciousness: Well then, don’t keep me waiting and tell me The Way already, my friend.
Father: The only way to know the Reason is to ask the one responsible for our existence.
Consciousness: Do you mean we must ask God about the purpose of our lives?
Father: Exactly.
Consciousness: But how are we supposed to do that? Do you have a way of connecting with him?
Father: I do have a way by which we can connect with the Ultimate Creator.
Consciousness: Tell me that way already my friend!
Father: The Way is Religion.
Consciousness: Religion? I’m afraid I don’t know what that means.
Father: Do not worry Con. I will tell you all about it. But before that, you must agree with some of my premises.
Consciousness: If they seem logical to me.
Father: Alright. As of now, God is a complete stranger to us, isn't he?
Consciousness: He is. We know nothing about Him.
Father: Right. And what do you think one must do to connect with a stranger? To make a stranger talk to us?
Consciousness: We must be pleasing in our approach.
Father: Correct. We must be as pleasing as possible. And that is exactly the purpose of Religion. There are certain principles that I’m aware of that need to be propagated so that everyone knows about them. And the sole purpose of these principles or Religion is to gratify the Creator so that we can connect with Him and ask about the Reason.
Consciousness: I see. And are you certain that your principles or Religion, if I may use your term, will gratify the Creator?
Father: I am certain.
Consciousness: Do you have a reason for your absolute certitude?
Father: I’m afraid, not, Con.
Consciousness: Is it merely a hunch?
Father: It is, yes.
Consciousness: Do you want your principles that are based on a hunch to be propagated and followed by the people?
Father: Yes, Con.
Consciousness: And why must people trust your instincts?
Father: Because of the fear of Hell.
Consciousness: What do you mean?
Father: You see, Con, the people who will not dedicate their lives to following my Religion will end up in a place of perpetual suffering and punishment. I call that place Hell. The fear of Hell would be so horrifying that people wouldn't dare to refuse to follow my Religion.
Consciousness: Why are you talking like a belligerent dogmatist, my friend? What has gotten into you?
Father: Nothing has gotten into me. I have thought for days about your question and this is the answer I have come up with. It hasn't been easy for me. And someone who hasn't thought about life and its purpose for this long shouldn't have any right to refute my answer or refuse to believe it. That is why I must put in them the fear of Hell. So, no foolish human ever dares to question my Religion or refuse to follow it. It is not dogmatism, it is respecting my hard work. Along with the fear of Hell, I must put in people the hope of ending up in a place of eternal pleasure as well, if they follow my Religion, that is. A place of eternal pleasure and happiness, Heaven. Do you think an aggressive dogmatist would do that?
Consciousness: Certainly not. A dogmatist would never have a care in the world for the happiness of other people. So, in that regard, you are not a dogmatist. However, I would still call your ways, dogmatism or even tyranny.
Father: Tyranny? Why is that, Con?
Consciousness: You see, there is something common between the ways of a tyrant and yours. It is that the way an oppressive tyrant rules his kingdom never fails to bring suffering to his people. His ways serve as the harbinger of suffering. And I can foretell your ways too, are not ways to gratify and connect with the Creator but a gateway to suffering. In that regard, you are no different than a hostile tyrant, and your ways, no different than absolute tyranny.
Father: But why do you think my ways are a gateway to suffering?
Consciousness: Because your concept of Religion is an irrational concept?
Father: What is the problem with that? Is our rationality not dependent and bound by our individual knowledge?
Consciousness: It is, yes. Something that may seem irrational may not be irrational in reality. However, it may still seem so because of the lack of knowledge.
Father: Yes, Con. Perhaps, that is why my concept of Religion seems irrational to you.
Consciousness: Not at all my friend. Your conception of Religion is merely a hunch. The principles that combine to form your Religion aren’t principles that were tested out and proved to gratify the Creator. They are merely what you think may gratify God. They may actually gratify the Creator or may not. We are not aware of that. I believe your principles are irrational not because of a lack of knowledge but because you want people to follow them not by rationalizing and deciding for themselves whether they should be partisans of it or not but by fearing punishment. You see, you fear that your principles stand a chance of being refuted which is exactly why I believe they are irrational. Had your principles been rational, anyone, as long as he thinks along the lines of logic would end up with the same principles.
Father: So what if my principles are irrational? How are they a gateway to suffering?
Consciousness: You see, my friend because your principles are irrational, its partisans would be irrational as well. Irrational followers, guided by fear. And there is one thing common in the followers of irrationality. It is faith. And faith is not supposed to be questioned. Your partisans would be slaves with faith in the principles that may or may not gratify the creator and you will have the power to guide their course of action. Now think about people with a rational mindset like myself. They will see through all of it. And they will realize the power Religion holds of enslaving people and having control over their course of action. Once they realize that, some of them will exploit it to their advantage. They may alter some of the principles or even create a new canon of principles. Create their own Religion with principles beneficial to them. And the people wouldn't think before following it because they won't be people who can think but people guided by fear of Hell. With time, there will exist a myriad of religions and their ways would contradict. And the partisans of contradictory religions would kill each other in the name of respecting their religions because they won't be people who can think and prove their ways rational but people guided by fear and hate. The power Religion holds of enslaving people would eventually give rise to a myriad of religions with contradictory principles. And that will cause suffering of all sorts. Do you want to be the one responsible for all the suffering to come?
Father: I am certain my ways would gratify the creator. And there won't be any suffering when people see that my principles work.
Consciousness: You are not certain at all my friend. All you are is lusty right now. You have a lust for life that is stronger than the most tensile of metals which is why you can’t accept that I have refuted all your answers.
Father: What am I supposed to do then, Con? You have indeed succeeded in refuting all my answers. Am I supposed to end my life then?
Consciousness: You must if you don't have a strong reason to exist. But ending your life is something that is unfathomable to you because of the lust for life you possess. It is making you delude yourself and form irrational theories that are harbingers of immense suffering. But you are not able to see it.
Father: You are not my friend Consciousness. All you wanted was for me to kill myself and that is why you have denied to accept any of my answers. You have tricked me into believing that all my answers were incorrect merely to conclude that I must end my life. What kind of friend does that? Being alone is better than having a friend like you. Don't ever speak to me again.
The Father of Religion was livid at Consciousness for concluding that he must end his life. He thought a friend would never have done that. He was utterly disappointed in Consciousness. That evening reclined on his wooden chair, he decided to never summon his friend again. He killed that friendship as a result of which he never talked with his consciousness. Hence, here we are, in the thick of all the suffering, the shrewd, Consciousness predicted.
By Purav Agarwal
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