Things That I Couldn't Tell My Daddy

By Manas Mahendru

Running through memories with a shivering body,

I am here emoting the things that I couldn’t tell my daddy…

Although it was hard for you to earn,

Money was never the concern.

I could never see that smile on your face,

Which would have been a symbol of your satisfaction and solace.

Our bond which was pure and selfless with God’s grace,

I know, was in doubt many times but that’s purely society’s disgrace.

Very few words were passed between us,

Anyways, our mutual understanding was always a hot topic to discuss.

Jealousy ran through peoples’ hearts,

Because your love and affection towards me were always a class apart.

Although you deserved the same from my elder brother and not disrespect,

But we both know it was not his fault and it was completely a different aspect.

I would always rush in excitement to the door when you were home,

Only to welcome you with a joke on my lips to take you to the happy zone.

Despite having meagre sum of money in your pocket,

You would always bring something to cherish and launch my mood in a space rocket.

Your expectations were high from me as I felt it in your eyes,

But you would never say a word about that as you never had a mindset to pressurise. 

I am giving my 100% every time and trying to get better and wise,

But you dear dad, left too early and couldn’t witness me live, getting on the rise.

We all know you deserved a better wife and much better in-laws,

But you still managed it very well because you knew it was in the clause.

The last few years were challenging for you and I completely take the blame,

But you, as always, forgave me and didn’t let me take the shame.

I still recall that night when I first struck into depression,

You were still beside me with a perfect massage with no signs of aggression.

Now I am sitting beside you, waiting for you to wake up,

But you, dear dad, are not responding; It seems the time’s up.

I know Heaven is a beautiful place and you are now a member of it,

But what about the promises we made, should they now go for a split?

I am standing here, missing you now and then,

One day I’ll make you proud, come back to you, and we, as best friends, will be together again.

Running through memories with a shivering body,

I am here emoting the things that I couldn’t tell my daddy…

I LOVE YOU, PAPA!…

By Manas Mahendru