Thought of You

By Nisha

Hi, how are you? Well, I know you are busy, like genuinely busy. Busy with your laptop and programming. Maybe with the cup of coffee on your table and hundreds of ideas on mind which go completely over my headand you know that, undoubtedly. Then again, what you don't know about me.

Sometimes, I feel you have mastered knowing me, of which you are very proud of and I hate it but secretly I love that too. What you don't know is that I'm no writer and I don't write but here I have no option other than writing this to you. I mean, who should I talk to? Who should I tell the stuff? The stuff I want to tell you when all I want is you with me, I want to talk to you and all I want is to listen to your voice, the sound of your voice when you giggle, after making some stupid joke from every thing I say, when you tell me what all the moronic things you did, that happiness in your voice, when you use some cheesy pickup line, to experiment your "flirting skills", that moment you sound extremely enthusiast like some 13-year-old teenage boy, which brings a smile on my face and want to pull your cheeks. You don't know that right, do you?

And I know, I know you will say that it's just a week and I will think, "Exactly! It's a damn whole one week". That one week, when you didn't call me for a minute, even when I called you, you didn't answer my call either called back. That one week when you didn't text me once and when I messaged, you didn't even bother to reply. I mean what kind of busy are you, where you can't even do this little.

Okay! Let me be very clear about this,It's not like I was dying to talk to you or I wasn't able to spend

a day not think about you. Yeah! Sure I did man, I had this amazing week you can't even think of. If you found out ever, you'll be bewildered and wonder why do I even need you when I can be this witty and amusing and you know what the best part is, I'll be thrilled to give you the benefit of the doubt.

You'll find out that I'm this full package of crazines adventure which is way more than enough for me;

the smiling flower that you would find in your garden when the first ray of sunshine falls. But today, it's not happening, actually, right now at this moment, I would do any thing to talk to you, which do not seems possible to me any time sooner, so let me just Jott it down everything because now it's unbearable deep inside me; my heart has gotten heavier and on that you're "busy", and I need to let it

out.

So, Today I was at this bus stop completely distracting myself by listening to the music and if you are

thinking those romantic slow soothing songs, then no love, the songs on which one cannot help but to

dance on and yes I was dancing; dancing in my head completely, as I was at the bus stop and I teally

didn't want any body to send me to mental asylum. I was dancing so much, so loud in my head that my

hands, feet, and head started to roll and I don't even know when. But be cause I was trying to distract

myself from the thought of you. I did not want to think about you (when in reality I was dying to talk to you), didnot want me thinking of hugging you (when all I was craving to hug you, to hold you). The whole day I was telling myself, no reminding myself that, 'don't worry he'd busy, just don't call'. But at that time I was not able to hold it back and I called you, the next moment I could and heard the ringtone and then in the other, 'the person you are trying to reach is currently busy' and in my head to myself,I was like,"like that you already didn't know".

I was little disappointed but it's okay you know cause I still had my songs to listen and the failed attempts to distract myself from the thought you.

Finally, the bus arrived at 18:30, there wasn't any empty seat hence I remain standing, supporting myself by leaning against the pole, tilting my head a little to give it some rest. The music was still playing but now I was losing tracks of the songs playing, now it might have been light soothing songs too because in my head I wasn't dancing any more, I was relaxed just like a 3-year-old baby who get stired after roaming every where in the house the whole day and at last falls to sleep, all at once. And suddenly it came to me if you were here right now, I would be holding your hands, leaning on your shoulders, would hug you so tight that the smell of you wouldn't flee from my clothes for the rest of the day, looking straight into your yes and seeing through you, I would be smiling at you, admiring how stupidly-cute you are.

Then, the bus jerked and reached some red light, and I was brought back to reality. With the bustiers going still, I discern that I was zoned out all this time and with a smirk on my face, I realized how stupid I have been thinking all that when I know you can never be mine.

I was little disappointed but it's okay you know causeI still had my songs to listen andthe failed attempts to distract myself from the thought of you.

By Nisha